Selma Blair has revealed that she is a sexual assault survivor and opened up about her traumatic experience. In her new memoir, “Mean Baby: A Memoir Of Growing Up,” she revealed to fans the shame and pain she felt after being assaulted by a respected school authority.
In the memoir, she explained how much she trusted and “counted on” the then Dean of a high school in Bloomfield Hills, Cranbrook boarding school. Unfortunately, he betrayed her by taking advantage of her young age.
An excerpt read, “I really couldn’t believe my good fortune in having such a wonderful mentor and friend. What hurt me from this was that he would make such a mistake. That was it.” This excerpt (shared via People) documented the moment he took advantage of her
Keep reading to find out more.
Selma Blair Detailed The Experience In Her Memoir
Blair expressed her love and respect for this Dean when she was younger. “I thought he was the greatest man I had ever met,” she wrote. He was “Handsome. Tall. So generous. I’m sure you can see where this is all going. But at that time, I couldn’t have predicted it. I trusted authority.” She also noted how naive she was. “I was just a teenager,” she said.
The unfortunate experience happened a day before her freshman year’s winter break. She went to his office to say her goodbyes, and they exchanged presents. “We embraced. It felt too long and too still and too quiet,” she explained. “His hand went to the small of my back, tracing the space just above my tailbone.”
“His lips were on my mouth,” she continued. She recalled wishing he wouldn’t “go under or put his hand in [her] pants,” but unfortunately, he did. “My dress-code-approved Ralph Lauren khakis into which I’d carefully tucked a plaid shirt Please. You are a grown-up and I love you; please do not put your hand inside my pants.”
“But he did. It was a simple thing. He didn’t rape me. He didn’t threaten me. But he broke me. Nothing ever happened again, but I never felt safe,” she wrote in the excerpt released to People.
She Told Her Mom About It
Blair’s mother was the first and only person she told about the incident. When she told her the Dean kissed her, she breathed deeply and begged her not to tell anyone. Her mom said, “‘He’s beloved at that school. And you’ll just be a troubled girl. I’m sorry.'” Her mom also refused to call him out for his behavior; instead, she told him to “stay away.”
“At the end of my senior year, he came over to congratulate me for winning a writing award. Then he turned to my mother and said, ‘You must be so proud,'” she wrote. Then her mom “looked at him, stone-faced. Then said, ‘know what you did. Stay away from my daughter.’ Afterwards, He walked away.”
Blair wrote that she was mentally exhausted and couldn’t deal with the situation. She had neither the “experience” nor “shame factor” to handle it, and she was very affected. She also recalled working very hard on this memoir to explain the feeling in the best possible way. “It was too disarming for me. I was careful; I never wanted him to be in trouble either,” she wrote.
She Turned To Alcohol To Cope
With Blair’s horrible experiences and other numerous sexual assaults and suicide attempts, by the time she was 7-years-old, she turned to alcohol to escape the pain, and it quickly became an addiction that lasted for decades.
She told People, “I don’t know if I would’ve survived childhood without alcoholism. That’s why it’s such a problem for a lot of people. It really is a huge comfort, a huge relief in the beginning. Maybe even the first few years for me because I did start really young with that as a comfort, as my coping mechanism.”
She also wrote about her addiction in the memoir, talked about it growing worse as the years passed and how it was a factor in some of the assaults she faced. However, writing about it has helped Blair. She said, “I’m grateful I felt safe enough to put it on the page. I’m in a good place.”
Selma Blair Is Focusing Solely On Her Son, Arthur
Recalling the experience and painful memories, she explained that she now understands how much trauma she was dealing with. It was hard for her to heal while pretending like everything was fine.
She also tried her best to separate the bad experiences from her present life and stop them from affecting how she sees men in her future. However, romance is not important to her at the moment. Right now, she is happy taking care of her 10-year-old son Arthur, whom she had with her ex and fashion designer Jason Bleick.
She said, “I know with everything that life can bring, that I really don’t say ‘never’ to some things— I say never to alcohol— and there are a couple things for which the dance card is full unequivocally, but I wouldn’t say never [to a relationship],” she said, “It’s just not at all where my energy lies. Everything is with Arthur now.”
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