Shanna Moakler at the Ante Up for Cancer Poker Tournament in Beverly Hills

Shanna Moakler Breaks Silence On Being In A 'Very Dark Place' After Parent's Death

Home / News / Shanna Moakler Breaks Silence On Being In A 'Very Dark Place' After Parent's Death

By Afouda Bamidele on June 25, 2024 at 8:00 AM EDT

Shanna Moakler is opening up about the impact of her parents' absence amid her ex-husband's baby crisis.

The former beauty pageant queen recently got vulnerable in a candid interview, confessing that it was tough navigating life without her folks. Her emotional state worsened with the media at her door over her ex, Travis Barker, and his wife's fetal drama.

Although Shanna Moakler is no stranger to being hounded by paparazzi, the attention took a toll on her mental health amid the loss of her parents.

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Shanna Moakler Reflects On Her Parents' Death

Shanna Moakler Celebrates Birthday at Crazy Horse 3 on 22 Mar 2024

In an interview conducted in April, the 49-year-old sat down at the Chateau Marmont to address her mother, Gail's death in January 2023. The heartbreaking blow doubled with her father, John W. Moakler III's passing seven months later.

The "Meet The Barkers" alum confessed that she let herself go during this challenging period, wallowing in grief and unable to care for her wellbeing. "I was in a very, very dark place. I stopped dieting. I stopped exercising," she revealed, adding:

"I just ate like sh-t. I was so devastated, and I missed my f—king mom and dad. I was like, 'I'm going to f—king eat the pain away.'"

Moakler recalled that she did not have the privacy to properly navigate her feelings thanks to the attention on Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian. She told PEOPLE:

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"Paparazzi were at my front door from the Kardashian media circus with Travis. It was on another level, and I didn't know how to deal."

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It Took Time For Moakler To Regain Her Spirit

Following her father's passing, Moakler's ex-husband made waves after his wife was hospitalized in September 2023 for an emergency fetal surgery. At the time, Barker and Kardashian were expecting their first child, son Rocky Thirteen.

The baby drama shifted the public's attention from Moakler's pain, but she wanted nothing more than to grieve in peace. "I was sad. And I just missed my parents so much," the 49-year-old confessed, noting that she didn't regain her spirit until recent months.

"I don't think anyone has a clue about who I am. I'm more than just the ex-wife of famous men. I was Miss USA at 19. I'm smart. Every part I've ever got in any movie, or every show I hosted or auditioned for, I worked my f—king ass off to get," Moakler declared, adding:

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"I also don't have to like the f—king Kardashians, and I'm honestly sick of talking about them. As I stand here today, as a mature woman who's gone through all that... I do not give a f-ck what anyone thinks of me anymore. I'm proud of who I am."

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The Former Pageant Queen Shared Her Favorite Memory With Late Parents

Shanna Moakler Opens Up About 'Favorite Memory In Life' Involving Late Parents
Instagram | Shanna Moakler

This isn't the first time Moakler has opened up about her parent's deaths, as The Blast reported she reflected on treasured memories with her folks in August 2023. On her Instagram Story, the media personality penned:

"[red heart emoji] My favorite memory in life is walking in on my mom and dad dancing. I hope you all get to dance the way they did."

Next, Moakler shared a selfie of her glammed-up face while sporting a black jacket. Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulder in straight waves, and she smiled softly for the camera, captioning the post, "I love you dad @drjohnmoakler."

Moakler Revealed Her Plans To Honor Her Dad With A Tattoo

Shanna Moakler Finds Solace In Knowing Dad Is With Her Mom After His Passing
Instagram | Shanna Moakler

On her Instagram page, the former Miss USA revealed the jacket she donned had a significant meaning. She reshared the selfie of her in the outfit with a snap of a license plate alongside the words, "I got my dad's jacket today, and my mom's license plate…. Very emotional day."

Moakler revealed she planned on honoring her late dad with a tattoo of his dental logo, just like her daughter Atiana did. The grieving 49-year-old concluded her message with gratitude, writing, "And thank you to the people who have shown up; I'll never forget you."

Supportive messages poured in for the entertainer, with fans echoing their love and advice for Moakler's wellbeing. An IG user penned, "One day at a time & even one hour at a time if need be. Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way."

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Shanna Moakler Bragged About Her Mother In A Touching Post

Shanna Moakler Remembers Late Mom And Brags About THIS Skill Of Hers
Instagram | Shanna Moakler

In July 2023, The Blast shared that Moakler proudly took fans down memory lane in honor of her late mother. She shared a throwback picture of the late matriarch from her prime, posing on a fishing dock while holding a giant fish.

Moakler's mother beamed proudly for the camera, ecstatic about the fish she caught. Her daughter echoed similar sentiments in the post's caption, raving, "I got to brag about my mom tonight… Portuguese pride!! She kicked ass in a fishing comp."

"Besides that, she's fckn gorgeous," Moakler continued, adding, "I miss her." She shared similar longing for her late mother in her posthumous birthday tribute, part of which read:

"I wish so badly we could go to Ricotti's, sit on the deck, have a screwdriver look at birds and listen to The Bee Gees."

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