Lily Collins Shares Her Story Of The Abuse She Suffered From Former Boyfriend

Lily Collins recently opened up about the emotional abuse she experienced during a former relationship. The "Emily in Paris" star revealed that an ex-boyfriend used to abuse her verbally and belittle her frequently. Collins shared that the emotional trauma was so bad that she became comfortable being silent and small to feel safe.

Collins also revealed that her body eventually started to react to the negative treatment to the point that she fell sick. Although a decade has passed since the relationship ended, the actress says she's still triggered by the memories. In a 2017 memoir, Collins opened up about her eating disorder and said it felt like she'd published her diary for the world.

Read on to find out more.

During her recent appearance on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, Collins spoke with host Glennon Doyle about the trauma she experienced from an abusive relationship. The "Emily in Paris" actress shared that at the time, she was in her early 20s and wanted to make the relationship work.

Collins revealed that she suffered from severe anxiety and regularly had panic attacks triggered by her ex-boyfriend belittling her constantly. The 33-year-old didn't name the emotionally abusive ex but shared that he'd use "awful words" on her because of her outfit choices and call her a "whore."

The actress said per HuffPost, "My romantic toxic relationship was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small." She then divulged what he used to say to her, like "You should be Little Lily." The actress continued, "I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe."

According to Collins, the relationship got so toxic that her body eventually began reacting with physical sickness. She said, "My skin was breaking out. I was having these panic attacks and I had kidney infections. All of these weird physical manifestations but I didn't, at that time of my life, put the two and two together as your body is telling you, 'This is not something you're supposed to be in.'"

And although it's been over a decade since, the memories of Collins' experience still trigger her. The "Mirror, Mirror" actress said, "Your gut reacts, your heart drops, and all of the sudden you're taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you're not in that situation now."

In 2017, Collins played the role of a person suffering from anorexia in "To the Bone" and revealed that she'd previously battled the disorder herself in her memoir later that year. Before the memoir's release, Collins spoke to People and said that sharing the memoir felt "like having my diary published."

During her recent podcast appearance, Collins shared that her book explored her views on body image, her celebrity family, and how she found her confidence. She also spoke to host Doyle about how she ventured through dark places during her writing process, including certain past relationships.

The actress talked about her decision to share details of her love life in the memoir. She said, "It was not about attacking, it was about showing how you can be given situations in life and turn them into lessons. It takes knowing what you don't want to know what you do want."

In her conversation with Doyle, Collins shared that she's now much happier since she married filmmaker Charlie McDowell in 2021. The actress said her trauma from the emotional abuse sometimes "comes back like that" but that her filmmaker husband cares for her and understands her needs in those times.

She said, "When I'm in one of those moments, it is so clear to Charlie, who can read me like a book, and he calls it out in a moment. This is what healthy... communication can feel like when someone can lovingly help you. It may feel uncomfortable, but it's for the best."