Hilaria Baldwin Was 'Sure' Alec Baldwin Was Dead After 'Rust' Shooting
By Kristin Myers on May 9, 2025 at 1:45 PM EDT
2021 was a stressful year for Alec Baldwin and his wife, Hilaria Baldwin.
On October 21, 2021, the "30 Rock" actor was rehearsing a scene for the Western indie film "Rust" in New Mexico when a gun he was holding went off, fatally wounding cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and hospitalizing director Joel Souza.
Although Baldwin didn't go on trial until 2024 (it was dismissed with prejudice after only three days), Hilaria explains in her new memoir, "Manual Not Included," that her husband struggled with physical and mental health issues in the weeks and years following the shooting.
Hilaria Recalls When She Was 'Sure' Alec Baldwin Was Dead
Hilaria released her memoir “Manual Not Included” on May 6. In the book, she discussed the fallout of the 2021 “Rust” shooting and described how the “Saturday Night Live” alum “became a totally different man” following the fatal shooting.
On January 31, 2023, Baldwin was charged with two counts of involuntary manslaughter, along with armorer Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, who is currently facing an 18-month sentence following her involuntary manslaughter conviction last year.
Although the charges were temporarily dropped in April 2023 pending an FBI investigation into the firearm used in the shooting, Hilaria noticed that her husband’s health “quickly deteriorated” and recalled rushing him to the emergency room.
In her book, she describes how “his hands became cold” and “he could barely walk.” She said that the doctors “did many tests” but concluded that “it was more stress.” She noticed that Alec had stopped eating and drinking as much as she used to and felt that “he was turning off.”
Alec Was Admitted To The Hospital A Few Days Later
Although the doctors sent him home after that trip to the emergency room, Hilaria revealed that her husband’s health took a turn for the worse a few days later. While taking their children to school, Hilaria received a call from their nanny urging her to come home immediately because the “Beetlejuice” actor was “really sick.”
"I rushed back and found him shaking, unable to stand up. He still refused to see the doctor, doing his best Alec-curmudgeon again to make me leave him alone," Hilaria recalled, revealing that Alec initially resisted calling an ambulance or going to the hospital.
After she finally convinced him that he needed to see a doctor, Alec relented and let her drive him to the hospital. However, when they arrived, Alec seemingly had trouble with his vision and “slumped back, eyes rolling, mouth open.”
Hilaria Baldwin Reveals He 'Couldn't Walk' Without A Walker Before Completing 'Rust'
Hilaria described how their driver, Mikey, ran inside the hospital to get help. “I was sure Alec was dead,” Hilaria wrote. “I thought I was going to vomit from feeling so helpless and heartbroken. How could this be happening?"
The “Supercell” actor was immediately admitted to the hospital and stayed there for a week. When it was time for him to go home, Hilaria revealed that “he couldn’t walk without the help of a walker” even though he needed to travel to Montana in order to finish filming “Rust,” which was quietly released in select theaters earlier this month.
To prevent the cast and crew from growing concerned about his illness, he wore an orthopedic boot to create the impression that he was slow and weak due to an injury.
Hilaria Says That Alec Struggles With ‘Survivor’s Guilt’
On the second episode of their TLC reality series, “The Baldwins,” Hilaria opened up on the “survivor’s guilt” that the actor has been struggling with following the fatal shooting.
“I found these text messages the other day between us, you know, the day after,” Hilaria told the camera. “And [Alec] said he wanted to kill himself.”
In a confessional, she explained that Alec “has survivor’s guilt” due to the shooting. “You're involved in this thing that nobody could even possibly imagine. And so he goes back to that day, he wishes it were him,” she recalled. “He would change places [with Halyna Hutchins] in a second.”
Hilaria Baldwin Says Alec Will 'Never Be The Same'
Ahead of her memoir release, Hilaria also referred to a time that the actor “fainted,” which resulted in her “shaking him awake.” It’s unclear if that is the same incident that led to his hospitalization in 2023.
“He'll never be the same,” Hilaria said during the show’s second episode. “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously the past few years. All of a sudden, he has started having heart problems. He's been hospitalized multiple times.”
“It's hard sometimes,” the former yoga instructor added. “But, you know, hopefully we're in the hardest but the tail end of it.”
