Blast Reddit Wars: Wedding With Specific Rules About Children Attending

Have you ever been invited to a wedding and then received a list of rules?

Reddit user Exotic_Resolution_45 is experiencing this dilemma over his sister's wedding and wants to know what others think of this unique family situation.

He shared his story so people could fully understand his frustration and get opinions from others on what they would do in the same or similar situation.

"I(m) have 3 sisters. The first two, Lisa and Maggie, both have kids, and the youngest is the one getting married. At the time of the wedding, Lisa's kids will 14, 11, and 8. Maggie's kids will be 9, 5, and 1.5, and mine will be 17, 14, 3.5, and 1.5. Both Maggie and I live in a different state, and will be traveling 1200+ miles to the wedding, Airbnb a house, renting cars.... ultimately spending quite a bit of money," he explained.

He then shared a group text filled with wedding rules from his sister.

"Hey guys! I just want to make sure we are all aligned on my wedding and the festivities… since we are 9 months out I want to make sure you have adequate time to arrange plans.

1. No babies/children allowed at the bachelorette/ bachelor party
2. No babies/ children allowed while we are getting ready - we need them to be watched during the day until family photos are scheduled. And even then you need someone to hold and help while photos are being done (Mom and dad will not be able to help)
3. babies / children allow after dinner and a small part of the reception- then they need to go to the house next door.
4. No MOH holding babies during the reception dinner as you will be making speeches
5. No holding babies during the ceremony and we need to figure out who is holding the kids during the ceremony. Mom and Dad are not going to be able to help hold the kids at all through the day.. We have the house next door and the children can go there and we will help find a baby sitter for the night. I really want to make sure we have a chance to celebrate and we are not worrying about the kids. It is important to us that y’all are there and having a great time at our wedding. We are excited celebrate with y’all and have a stress free night!"

He further explained that the text was specifically for him and his sister Maggie. He pointed out that Maggie still nurses, as does his wife, and his son has type 1 diabetes and needs special care.

"So we are at a point where we go to the wedding, and stress about the babies. How's his blood sugar...he's low..is he getting a snack? He's high, is he getting a correction dose? If nursing, my wife won't be drinking. I also won't drink because we have to wake up to any alarms for high or low blood sugars. If it were an hour, ok...but it's looking like an all day thing," he continued.

Thousands of Reddit users had some thoughts on the wedding rules and how to handle it.

"It sounds like 90% of the hassle could be avoided if they politely step down from wedding party.

'Hey (sister), thanks for bringing up the logistics so early on. Your text has led us to talk about the options for (3.5 yo)’s care, and we are worried that we won’t be able to find/afford a babysitter who is experienced in managing diabetes for a toddler. Unfortunately, his health issues mean that we never really have a day off, and this is probably our reality for the next 5 years.

Your requests make total sense, but when we sat down to plan, we couldn’t think of an ideal solution. We wonder if it would be simpler for you if we step down from the wedding party. We absolutely love and support you, and can’t wait to watch you get married. This option seems like the best way to be a part of your day without risking kid emergencies.'"

~PuffinTown

"As a retired nurse, I can say that many working nurses don't even know the difference between T1 or T2.

There's no way I would leave my T1 child with a generic random baby sitter who is not trained medically or experienced in caring for a T1 child. And who also is a complete freaking stranger!

Children with type 1 can be as fragile as canaries in a coal mine.

I would sit this one out because your sister is ridiculous."

~DallasRadioSucks

"From your sister’s standpoint, it probably seems that, in order to have the perfect wedding day, she needs to be surrounded by all her family, celebrating her special day, the most important day of her life, so far, all.day.long.

But for you and Maggie, your day is going to be spent worrying about your kids, trying to rush through everything to go check on the littles, wishing things would speed up, and mixed with all that you will have feelings of resentment towards your sister for putting you in this position.

I would discuss with my wife what would be the best thing for our little family, particularly the 3 year old. Then go with that and inform your sister (with an emphasis on the fact that your son’s health and wellness must be the main focus. I am an adult with diabetes and I could not handle all the stress myself that your sister’s 'instructions for that day' entailed."

~Live_Western_1389

"You could just go as guests like others have suggested, however I would say be careful you and your wife don't get designated to be the babysitters for the rest of the kids."

~Lualin87

"I would reply to everyone, 'sis I love You and want you to have the best wedding possible, but the whole point of a wedding is to start your new family. So I am sure you understand that and support my need to ensure that MY family’s health and well-being are looked after. Since it is medically impossible to fulfill your requests, DW and I are going to have to step back from being in your wedding party and will only be able to participate as a guest. I know that you wouldn’t want to put your niblings health/life at risk. Love you and can’t wait for your wedding.'"

~VonShtupp

"I would have one of you decline to be in the wedding party in order to "manage" your children since the bride thinks that's the big issue - managing the children. She can't have it both ways. And soon, if she becomes a mother, she'll realize her requests were ridiculous."

~Fearless-Anteater717

"I hate people who say no kids at their wedding and then act like they’re doing you a favor. They’re NOT. We’re skipping two weddings this year because we can’t bring our 5 year old daughter. 'We want you to relax and have fun' ok well, we will, as a family, NOT at your wedding.

Side note: I have done hair & makeup for weddings and have sung in wedding bands for 20+ years and I have NEVER seen a child mess anything up at a wedding, but I surely have seen adults acting the fool."

~Gooncookies

Live_Western_1389

u/Live_Western_1389

Apr 22, 2022

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