Meghan McCain Recalls 'Primal & Raw' Pain Of Father's Passing On 5th Death Anniversary

Meghan McCain is opening up an old wound from her dad, Senator John McCain’s death. 

On August 25, 2018, the 81-year-old Republican passed on after battling brain cancer. His death left his family heartbroken, especially his daughter, Meghan. Five years after her father’s absence, the media personality emotionally recalled her pain from the loss.

Over the weekend, the columnist marked her father’s fifth death anniversary with an emotional post on Instagram. The post featured old photos from her dad’s burial, and the first image on it was a heart-wrenching photo of the media personality openly weeping beside her dad’s casket. The upload featured other photos showing family and friends mourning.

In the post’s caption, the conservative writer got emotional, expressing the sad feelings the loss of her father brought. She wrote, “5 years ago today, I couldn’t possibly imagine how I was going to keep on living - the pain was so primal and raw, and quite frankly I didn’t think the world could still have light without my Dad in it.” 

She continued, listing how impactful her father’s presence was. “Our lives were so intertwined, not only as father and daughter but with his legendary career in politics, that he always gave me the privilege of being a part of and accompanying him.” 

According to the Daily Mail columnist, she got to experience life fully and, importantly, learn things about politics because of her father. Hence, when he passed on, she was devastated and openly mourned her loss. Remembering how she mourned, the writer stated, “I grieved very hard and very publicly. It was very different than most waspy political people.”

In the later parts of her message, McCain encouraged those grieving. She wrote, “be kind to yourself, scream, cry, get help of all kinds, reach out to friends, family, therapists,” adding that counseling helped her. At the end of the message, Meghan declared, “I love you Dad, I know I will see you again someday.”

Last month, the author also marked her dad's favorite weekend this year, the Fourth of July weekend. She uploaded a throwback photo of the maverick in all smiles which was captioned, “Fourth of July weekend was your favorite. It still hurts my heart without you. As they say ~ goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you were bigger than the whole sky.”

For those unaware, the former Senator passed on in 2018 after a battle with stage-four brain cancer. Following his death, Meghan took to social media with a tribute to him. “I love you forever – my beloved father @SenJohnMcCain” she sadly penned, adding that she was by her father’s side as he “departed this life.”

“In the thirty-three years we shared together, he raised me, taught me, corrected me, comforted me, encouraged me, and supported me in all things. He taught me how to live. His love and his care, ever present, always unfailing, took me from a girl to a woman — and he showed me what it is to be a man.”

Last year, the political activist, alongside her daughter, visited her dad’s gravesite at the United States Naval Academy Cemetery. Per PEOPLE, the mom of one shared a photo of the visit to her Instagram, captioning it, “Love hard. Grieve hard. Miss you every day.”

While still holding on to the memories she shared with her dad, McCain previously recounted how she sees a piece of her late father in her little girl, Liberty, whom she shares with Ben Domenech.

She explained that her girl “does this thing with her hands, and [my dad] used to do that all the time. I don't do it. I don't know where it comes from, but she does it even now."

The Republican further shared that the habit creeped her out. In her words, “ I told my mother-in-law it creeps me out when she does it because it's this tic my dad used to do with his hands.

She continued, So it's stuff like that, but I loved my dad, and I love my mother in a way that's the way I think a lot of people love their parents; they're the people that raised you. And with my dad in particular, he was just so much for so much of my life in so many different ways. But with my daughter, it's just pure. She's perfection."