Amanda Kloots Opens Up About Getting Scolded For Not Grieving Enough

Amanda Kloots has addressed those who wanted her to pause her life after the death of her mother-in-law, Lesley Cordero.

The fitness instructor's life was upended for the second time when she learned that Lesley had died. Although she offered no intimate information about the matriarch's passing, Kloots was grateful for her impact on her and her grandson, Elvis Eduardo's life. Lesley's death comes almost three years after her son Nick died of COVID-19-related complications in July 2020.

Soon after Kloots announced the unexpected passing of Lesley to her 733,000 followers over the weekend, people expected to see her down in the dumps subsequently. Thus, when she opted to go dancing, a critic felt entitled to send her a direct message asking her to stop dancing and focus on mourning her late mother-in-law.

The co-host of "The Talk" showed she was not a fan of being told how to deal with her grief when she responded to the DM publicly on Wednesday. Taking to Instagram, Kloots shared a clip of herself and a cross-section of others attending a choreographic dance class led by Ryan Heffington.

Using the caption to drive her point further, she disclosed that she was scolded for "working out and teaching fitness" the day after Lesley died. Though she explained that this would not be the first time she would receive a message from someone "telling me that I'm not grieving to their standards," the 40-year-old used the opportunity to educate critics on how she handles grief. She wrote:

"A very powerful thing I've learned through grief is what I need to do for myself to release the pain- what helps me to process the trauma so it doesn't stay stuck. One thing I do is workout and the other @dancingwiththestars really helped me realize, dance. Dancing every day during that show released stored pain that I didn't even know I still had in my body."

Kloots recounted that she signed up for a dance class outside her "comfort zone" the day after Lesley died. While she admitted that she almost "chickened out," the "Fit For Christmas" actress ultimately went and got an "unforgettable" experience out of it. The "Dancing with the Stars" contestant detailed:

"I allowed myself to completely let go. I put every emotion I had in me into each step- the sadness from loss, the build up from weeks before, the ptsd I was experiencing, the shock, the heaviness and weight of trauma. I took all of it and danced it out in front of a group of people I didn't know. I didn't look in the mirror. I didn't judge myself. I just danced. It was one of the most cathartic experiences l've ever had. I got home and felt like a completely different person- lighter in my head, heart and body and filled with new energy and light."

She continued with the "moral of this story," which she broke into two. Her first message was for people not to "let anyone's judgements get in the way of how YOU heal," The second was hinged on knowing yourself, "What makes you feel better? Then DO THOSE THINGS AND DONT LOOK BACK OR AROUND. YOU GO FORWARD."

The message struck a chord with Kloots' followers, who applauded her in the comments section. One penned, "There's no handbook for grieving. People should stop acting like there is one."

Another added that since grief "is so different and personal to everyone," there was "no right or wrong way to grieve, only your way." A third told her, "You do not owe anyone a post or an explanation why you do what you do. Live your life."

Actress Olivia Munn commented, "Proud of you and how you live your life. You inspire me everyday." Meanwhile, one person noted, "I don't get how you can go and just know how to do the dance they are doing #obviouslynotadancer."

The Blast previously shared that Kloots used multiple photos and a touching caption to announce Lesley's passing to her followers. The snaps showed the late matriarch visiting her daughter-in-law on set, holding her grandson shortly after he was born, and enjoying a family day with her late son.

The mother-of-one reflected on Lesley's influence as a "powerhouse, a woman of great strength and great advice," especially in the period after Nick's death. With this latest development, it seems that Kloots would depend on her ability to keep moving.

The Blast reported that she had opened up about that tip after one of them sent her a DM that read, "Seems like you move forward, and then sometimes you take two steps back." Although she told the person that was "the definition of grief," the dancer explained further with an Instagram Story that began:

"I never mind taking two steps back. That's how we learn, grow and evolve."

She added that baby steps were helpful with learning from experience to avoid getting stuck, which was her "biggest fear." Kloots highlighted that while grief changed people, there was power in clarity.