Singer Wynonna Judd is beginning to feel more comfortable opening up about the death of her own mother, Naomi Judd, after she took her own life about five months ago on April 30 at age 76.
The two had been part of the country music duo known as The Judds, and were set to resume their final tour in September. Unfortunately, Wynonna has been forced to tour solo, although she has the support of several country music stars to back her up on stage, like Brandie Carlile. She also has the love and support of her sister, Ashley Judd, who was the one who discovered Naomi’s body and stayed with her for up to thirty minutes until paramedics arrive.
In a new interview with PEOPLE, Wynonna confessed that she is still trying to make sense of her mother’s decision to end her own life, despite her long and candid struggle with depression.
Wynonna Judd Says That Naomi Judd Was ‘Determined To Die’
During a lengthy conversation with PEOPLE magazine, Wynonna confessed, “I can’t quite wrap my head around it and I don’t know that I ever will. That she left the way she did.”
“That’s how baffling and cunning mental illness is,” she added. “You have to make peace with the fact that you don’t know. Sometimes there are no answers.”
She said that Naomi was “always so determined, no matter what happened to her.” She reflected on Naomi’s experiences of being “fired” and “forgotten,” before recalling how she was “a single white female raising two babies by herself on welfare and food stamps. She never gave up.”
The 58-year-old singer said that Naomi’s determination applied to “every stinking part of life, including death,” adding, “With the same determination she had to live, she was determined to die. It’s so hard to comprehend how someone can be so strong and yet so vulnerable.”
Wynonna Judd Explains Why She Had To Go Back On Tour To Honor Her Mother
Although she is still grieving her mother, Wynonna said that she had to “just go to the next step. Then go two more,” adding, “Sometimes that’s enough.” Although she was hesitant to do The Judds: The Final Tour solo, some of the most famous names in country music offered to back her up on tour.
Stars like Trisha Yearwood, Faith Hill, Martina McBride, and Little Big Town are joining her on stage for the next few months on tour as she celebrates her mother’s life and legacy. “I have to celebrate the joy as much as I can,” Wynonna said. “That’s part of the reason I’m doing the tour.”
In the months leading up to her mother’s death, Wynonna had been touring with her husband, drummer Cactus Moser, while Naomi stayed at home. “It was incredibly painful for [my mom] because her favorite place to be was on the road and to be with me and [my sister] Ashley,” Wynonna recalled. “She was by herself a lot. And so we were disconnected. One of my regrets is that I was so busy. She often talked about how lonesome it is in that house without us.”
Wynonna Reveals The Last Thing Her Mother Said To Her
In a heartbreaking confession, Wynonna revealed that the last time she saw her mother alive was at the CMT Awards on April 11. At the event, they sang their hit song, “Love Can Build a Bridge.”
“The last thing I said to her was ‘I love you,’ and I’m so grateful for that,” Wynonna recalled.
Although she is still struggling to grieve her mother’s death, Wynonna admitted, “I’ve accepted it as much as I possibly, humanly can,” adding, “Acceptance and then surrender, and what comes after is finding meaning.”
Now, she hopes that speaking out and talking about depression will help others get help before its too late. “There is not one person on this planet that is not susceptible to some form of depression,” Wynonna said. “The ones who need or want help, some will ask for it and some won’t.”
“I will take every available opportunity to celebrate life because everything is a gift in this life,” she added. “Your breath, your heartbeat, the next day. Maybe her greatest legacy was in darkness, there is light.”
