Paulina Porizkova Gets Candid About Grief: 'Do What You Can'

Model Paulina Porizkova got candid about her thoughts on grief in a new Instagram post on Monday, which also marked Labor Day in the United States.

The European model, 57, has been candid with her reflections on life and aging in her new book, "No Filter," although she hasn't been shy about giving fans a sneak peek into her thoughts with her lengthy Instagram posts.

In her latest Instagram post, the former supermodel got candid with her thoughts on grief and the difference between sympathy and empathy.

The former Estée Lauder model was married to the Car singer, songwriter, musician, and record producer Ric Ocasek from 1989 until his death in September 2019 while they were still in the process of their divorce. A medical examiner concluded that he had died from natural causes as a result of hypertensive heart and coronary heart disease at age 75.

In Monday’s Instagram post, Paulina wrote, “Before I knew what grief was, when I was faced with a grief or mourning, I’d retreat into sympathy. I confused it with compassion. But what I was in fact doing- was pulling away from the grieving person, saying ‘oh, poor YOU.’”

“I was unconsciously erecting a shield by feeling sorry for them. I offered platitudes and ‘fixes’. I had no understanding how shallow this was, how little I helped,” she wrote. “When I was plunged into my own world of grief, I learned first-hand how little I had offered.”

“Sympathy is not empathy. A grieving person does not need your sympathy,” she explained. “Grief requires empathy. What is empathy? Empathy is being present and witness. That’s all. Holding the hand of the grieving, and letting them do or say what they need to say. We are all good at some things and not so great at others.”

“If your friend is grieving, do what YOU are good at. If you’re action oriented, do not tell them how to fix their grief. Bring food. Clean their house. Watch their kids,” she continued. “If you’re nurturing, do not offer platitudes. Hold their hand and cry with them. Do it, and then go to replenish your own reserves. Getting lost in the labyrinth of someone else’s grief does you both no good.”

“Do what you can, and trust others will do the same. But remember that to ‘pity’ someone is to step away instead of stepping up,” she added.

“A membership in the Grief club is as undesirable as it’s unavoidable. By being a member, you suffer,” she concluded. “But your suffering can eventually expand your world, and make your corner of the world a better, kinder one.”

Fortunately, although she is also dealing with grief, there are some happy moments for her family, as she recently revealed only a few days before that her son had gotten engaged.

A few days ago, Paulina shared in another Instagram post that she was “Going into the weekend with a full heart.”

“My son Jonathan and his longtime girlfriend Erin are engaged,” she wrote. “I have honestly never witnessed a couple so respectful of one another, so full of love for one another, so eager to show little kindnesses to one another on a daily basis as those two. You can’t be in their company without noticing.”

“We’ve raised two amazing young men, and I couldn’t be more proud of both,” she continued. “And now our family expands again to hold this beautiful light named Erin. I’m honored, excited, thrilled, overcome with joy and gratitude to be here to witness it all.”

“On the picture, Jonathan is wearing his father’s ring, the one he wore for our entire marriage.

It’s such a bittersweet moment for me,” she added. “His hand, so much looking like his father’s,

is gently overlaid by Erin’s: her tenderness, her care, her love.”

“Daring to love is the most courageous act one can ever make. Each person you open your heart to will expand your life in ways unforeseen. Each time you dare to love is taking a road untraveled,” she continued. “Jonathan and Erin have chosen their path, bringing us along, making us their accomplices and witnesses along the way, expanding our worlds with love, for love, because of love.”

“Ric, my love, how we all wish you were here to celebrate,” she added as fans showered the post with red heart emojis and wished the happy couple their sincere congratulations.

Paulina has also been candid about showing her body and recently posed for a make-up and filter free photo in a bikini to discuss her thoughts on aging. Fans can check out that post by clicking here.