Actor James Van Der Beek and his wife Kimberly Van Der Beek tend to be very open about their pregnancy losses.
The pair have been married for 12 years and are parents to 11-year-old Olivia, 10-year-old Joshua, eight-year-old Annabel, six-year-old Emilia, four-year-old Gwendolyn, and youngest son Jeremiah.
Earlier on Friday, the “Dawson’s Creek” alum took to his Instagram to share and reflect on his devastating pregnancy losses and their healing process.
Van Der Beek and his wife were heartbroken in 2019 when they lost a child during pregnancy. A year later, they were assailed with another agony when they lost another child during pregnancy in June 2020.
Read on for more details.
James Van Der Beek Says ‘Healing Comes At Its Own Pace’
Van Der Beek is reflecting on his family’s multiple pregnancy losses and healing journey.
The star took to his Instagram on Friday to share a heartfelt post where he reminisced on the story of two family road trips, alongside two photos that overlooked a river.
While the first picture was taken after his wife’s first miscarriage in 2019, the second picture was taken earlier this month and featured the star carrying his youngest son, Jeremiah, on his back.
“Pic #1, we had just lost a baby 18 weeks into pregnancy and almost lost @vanderkimberly in the process,” the actor captioned beneath the family pictures. “I had a collaboration going south, rapidly. And I’d just been booted off a reality dancing competition I’d been favored to win. (I feel like three out of those four are fairly relatable.”
He concluded, “And thus began the process – not necessarily of healing – but of being present. Present to the pain. Present to the beauty around us. And present to the acceptance of being in a process I did not understand.”
‘A Little Change Of Environment’
The couple, who suffered another pregnancy loss in June 2020, welcomed the birth of their youngest son, Jeremiah, last October. The actor shared that they recently returned to the same river with Jeremiah.
“Two-and-a-half years later, after another late-term pregnancy loss, after that project blew up completely after we moved to a new state and got our RV… we returned to that exact spot. With a brand new baby boy,” Van Der Beek wrote.
As he reflected on their initial visit to the river, the star shared he was surprised by “how much I didn’t know about the path to where I am now and by how much peace I was able to feel amid that darkness.”
He concluded the post by addressing his fans and urging them not to give up.
“Whatever you’re going through, if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, or even know where to look for it… I invite you not to underestimate the power of a little change of environment… and of taking the time to sit exactly where you’re at,” he said. “Healing comes at its own pace. Presence might be a prerequisite.”
They Have Suffered Two Concurrent Miscarriages
Before the arrival of their golden baby, the couple had suffered two miscarriages back-to-back.
“My wife Kimberly went through every expectant parent’s worst nightmare. We lost the baby,” James shared amidst tears during a November 2019 episode of DWTS. “The little soul we had expected to welcome into our family took a shortcut to whatever lies beyond. You never know why these things happen. That’s what I’ve been telling my kids.”
The couple have been open about their healing process, sharing with Us Weekly that, “recovery goes in stages.”
“You want to be better, and then you realize you’ve got another little thing to unpack. So, we’re just being there for each other and allowing ourselves to be in the process. The family is doing well.”
James Van Der Beek Is Open About Such Hard Topics With His Kids
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Although these experiences have been challenging and traumatic, the couple always share the moments with their children.
In 2020, the star posted a video he had recorded telling his children at the time of their mom’s miscarriage. He reported that his children had different reactions to the news; while some burst into tears, others went quiet and ignored the subject altogether.
One part of the video featured his six-year-old Emilia asking several questions following the the pregnancy loss.
“Dad, why are we not having a baby brother?” she asked.
“Because the baby that was going to come went back to heaven, and that happens sometimes,” he responded. “So instead of the baby coming into our family, the baby went to heaven.”
“So that’s why we’re going to have a boy still big in Mom’s stomach?”
“No, there’s no boy in Mom’s stomach anymore,” he replies.
“It’s OK to be sad,” he later continued, per Today. “It’s OK to have questions. Sometimes this happens, and nobody knows why, OK? But it means Mommy doesn’t have a baby in her belly anymore.”
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