Did Johnny Carson Ever Regret Pulling Out Of 'The Tonight Show'?

Half a century ago, Johnny Carson became the host of the late-night talk show, "The Tonight Show." In his 30 years of being host, he amassed a fanbase of over 15 million. He also became one of the most popular and influential men in America.

Carson was intensely private and reserved, even with his penchant for the screen. Only a few people, including his family members, really knew him.  

Filmmaker Peter Jones tried to change that. For 15 years, Jones repeatedly sent Carson a letter, asking for his consent to make a film about his life.

His pleadings fell on deaf ears until 2003 when he received a call from Carson." You write a damn fine letter, Peter, but I don't have anything more to say." After he died in 2005, Jones directed his letters to Johnny's nephew, Jeff Sotzing, who controlled his uncle's archives.

Finally, in 2010, Sotzing agreed to collaborate with the filmmaker and eventually granted him access to Carson's personal and professional database, including photo albums, movies, memorabilia, and all the episodes of "The Late Night Show." 

While it was unanimously agreed that Carson left his show so soon, the host seemed to share a differing opinion.

"I think I left at the right time," he explained to Esquire in 2002. "You've got to know when to get the hell off the stage, and the timing was right for me. The reason I don't go back or do interviews is that I just let the work speak for itself."

On his show, Carson also explained to Roseanne Barr that he wanted to quit when he was still on top of his game. "Beverly Sills, who's a wonderful opera singer, once said, 'I would much rather have people say to me at a party, Beverly, why did you quit singing, rather than why didn't you quit?"

When the time for him to retire came, he decided and stuck with it. His co-host Ed McMahon said to the same outlet that Carson left the studio without looking back following his last performance.

"When he finished, off he went," he began. "He grabbed his wife, Alex, and walked right by me without a look, so intent was he on getting the hell out of there."

McMahon also reported a helicopter was waiting for him in front of the studio to prevent a weepy scene.

Although he felt confident that he chose to retire at the right time, he was still ravaged with horrible dreams.

"I still, believe it or not, have dreams in which I am late for The Tonight Show," he mentioned to the outlet. "It's a performer's nightmare. I've checked with other people, and it occurs to them frequently. And it's frightening."

He also expatiated on the details of his dreams.

"I'm not prepared. It's showtime, and I'm going on — and I've got nothing to say! Jesus! I woke up in a sweat," he began.

"It's now been ten years since I've been done with the job. But I will be back there — it was two-thirds of my adult life, remember — and people at the show will be as real and fresh and current as ever in the dream," he went on. "And all of a sudden, I have to go on, and I'm not prepared. You revisit the whole thing. You think you're on the air, and you are not ready."

According to the former president of NBC, Bob Wright, Carson expressed that he was missing his job when a sensational article made rounds. A fiasco involving a former president supposedly made him wish he was still a talk show host.

The president of NBC told Esquire that Carson called him and said, "It's John. I regret it now. I haven't seen such an abundance of material in my life! This is just unbelievable," he concluded.

Nonetheless, despite his spontaneous urges to return, the talk show host stuck to retirement.

John Williams Carson, who was born on October 23, 1925, was an American comedian, writer, talk show host, and producer. 

He was popular for being the host of "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. He has bagged the Television Academy's 1980 Governor's Award, six Primetime Emmy Awards, and a 1985 Peabody Award.

He also received a Kennedy Center Honor and the Presidential Medal of Freedom award. Before his career as a talk host, he served in the Navy. After this, he started a career in radio. Carson was an American icon and remained so even after his death.