Artist Anna Marie Tendler did not have a great 2021.
After husband John Mulaney got out of rehab, he made the decision to end his six-year marriage to Tendler in May, although he did not officially file for divorce until July. The timeline seems awfully circumspect because Mulaney just welcomed a new baby with actress Olivia Munn on November 24.
Although the new couple seems over the moon with their new child, Tendler is looking ahead to 2022 after suffering an “unfathomable” loss in 2021.
Tendler Says Goodbye To A Year Filled With ‘Depression And Anxiety’
In a beautifully worded essay posted to Instagram, the artist reflected on the downfalls she experienced “over the past two years.”
“Over the past two years it seems that change has been synonymous with loss and collectively this loss has been unfathomable,” she began. “It is tempting to construct a poetic list of all we’ve watched slip through our hands, but what’s the point? We already know it and we grieve it daily. Even if we speak of a future when ‘things will go back to normal,’ our cautiously hopeful tones belie reality. Inertia has propelled us forward, there is no going back, there is no ‘back’ to go back to. Normal means something different now.”
“My own brain is well acquainted with the elusiveness of hope that materializes in sporadic and ephemeral waves,” she continued. “I suppose, in part, this is what it means to live with depression and anxiety. That said, melancholia is oft amplified by circumstance and the circumstances of my year have been harsh and punishing. I find myself asking, ‘when will I feel normal?’ but in reality I recognize that the normal from before has expired; ‘normal’ is an impossibility, there is only ‘new.’”
Tendler Tries To Answer The Question: ‘So How Does One Digest Grief?’
“So how does one digest grief?” she continued. “How do we metabolize trauma, collective and individual? How, precisely, do we sit with, in order to move through? We call our friends; we allow ourselves to laugh. We cry in parked cars. We work; we rest. We throw plates just to watch them break; we make things with our hands. We write, we read, we watch movies. We listen to music. We run, or walk, or sprint, or dance. We ask for help or learn to ask for help. We love or learn to love again.”
“Here’s to all the things we did this year to cope and here’s to all we will do next year to heal,” she added. “An infinite history of pain and suffering occurred before this time, yet here we all are, surviving and creating and laughing at tik tok videos.”
“So long 2021,” she concluded. “For better or worse I will carry a piece of you with me forever.”
Fans and friends showed support for the artist. Singer Kasey Musgraves wrote “rooting for you.”
Kaitlynn Carter wrote “so beautifully written! Happy new year.”
“Beautifully said,” commented Anna Akana, while Michelle Macedo echoed, “Beautiful.”
“Your words and art constantly move me, AM!” wrote Kate Spencer. “Grateful for your sharing.”