Britney Spears Says Prayer Helps Her Deal With ‘Serious Insecurities’

In a lengthy Instagram post on Monday night, singer Britney Spears revealed that she was not allowed to perform new songs or remixes of her old songs during her 13-year conservatorship.

She also revealed that there was a time when she had stopped believing in God before she realized “A relationship with God is never ending ….. that’s why prayer is a constant in my life !!!”

She said she felt that she sounded “shallow” compared to “parents and people who were loosing people they loved and dying of cancer.”

“I had given up hope and I would preach to them, you’re not alone and God loves you.. I mean that was easy for me to say at that time,” she revealed. “I remember one lady said she had four weeks to live and she said to me, ‘What God would put disease and sickness in a world??’ ‘What God would take my daughter???’ She said, ‘Why do you believe???’ And I said because I have no choice…. Hard test, right?? How shallow did I sound to her saying ‘God is with you?’ I bet she wanted to b---- slap me….”

“The reason I bring this up is because I know the pain of not believing anymore and feeling so alone and even the arrogance of the world can test your faith….” Britney continued. “Trust me, I knew and it’s not fun… Last year was growth for me… I still have a ways to go!!!”

She continued, “My goal for this year is to push myself a bit more and do things that scare me but not too much I mean geez !!!! We are just people and I’m not superman but I know what make me happy and brings me joy and I try to meditate on those places and thoughts that enable me to experience it !!!!!”

“I obviously have serious insecurities ….. otherwise I wouldn’t have acted like an obnoxious 8 year old last week defending myself with my accomplishments !!!!” she added, although it's not immediately clear which event she is referencing.

“Honestly my family embarrassed me and hurt me deeply … so tooting my own horn and seeing my past accomplishments reflecting back at me actually helped !!!!” she continued. “To the outside world it must seem like I’m extremely insecure and if people really knew what I went through, I think they would understand COMPLETELY where I’m coming from !!!!”

“It’s a shame though that people don’t like the truth !!!!” she added. “I’d get more respect doing a spread for Playboy than I would writing a book!!!! As much as I’ve been offended …. which one would you do ??? Either way it’s all another reason to go back to the beginning and say what I said PRAY… PRAY… PRAY. SO … again, I’m sorry if I sound ignorant … I’m extremely insecure and I probably care too much so that’s all I got … PRAYER !!!!”

“Psss… At the end, all I got is prayer and a bottle of champagne too.”