In the fifth episode of Will Smith’s docuseries “Best Shape of my Life,” the actor recounts traumatic experiences in his childhood.

Smith contemplated suicide at 13 because he couldn’t stop his mother from being abused.

Caroline Bright, Will’s mother, never thought her son was a coward for being unable to stop the abuse.

Smith said his father was one of his greatest blessings and one of the greatest sources of pain in his life.

The abuse triggered different reactions in him and his siblings, making him a pleaser.

Smith became a pleaser and tried to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable to avoid any more violent outbursts.

The experience trained him as an entertainer because he could pretend and hide his real emotions.

Smith said no matter how successful he becomes, there would always be a feeling telling him he was a coward.

Bright explained to her son that she never saw him as a coward because there wasn’t anything he could do at his age.