"Vanderpump Rules" star Jax Taylor is mourning his father one year after his passing.
The newly-engaged reality star took to Instagram on Thursday paying a touching tribute to his dad, who died after a battle with cancer.
Sharing an old photo of them from his childhood, Jax calls his dad his "best friend" and "the man I aspire to be." Recalling their mutual love of cars and the Detroit Redwings, the Bravo star heartbreaking says, "Sometimes I don’t think it’s real, I listen to your voicemails and videos all the time, always thinking, “what if ?” Or “why?” I know you are with me because too many positive things have happened to me this year and I have seen so many signs of you."
Revealing he "wanted nothing to do with God" following his dad's death, Jax credits his fianceé, Brittany Cartwright, and his sister for helping him get through the tough time in his life.
"It wasn’t easy after you left us, but with the help of Jenny and Brittany, I have learned to deal with things in a more positive, healthy way."
Looking forward to his 2019 wedding, Jax says, "I don’t know how I am gonna do it with out you physically standing by me, and helping me with my tie like the old days at hockey tournaments, god I miss those days. But I know you will be with me."
The "Vanderpump" bartender added, "I love you dad so much, you are and will always be my best friend. Till we meet again."
And while his dad will be there in spirit, Jax and Brittany are very excited for their upcoming nuptials.
The Blast caught up with them earlier this month to get all the details, and whether they plan on televising the wedding.