If Oprah Really Does Run for President, We’ve Got Her Cabinet Already Picked Out

Seth Meyers opened Pandora’s box at Sunday’s Golden Globe awards by joking that Oprah Winfrey should run for President with Tom Hanks as her Veep.

(FYI, he actually got the joke from former high-ranking Obama staffers on their podcast last week.)

Then Oprah’s impassioned acceptance speech after receiving the Cecil B. DeMille award later that night certainly had Presidential undertones.

Could #Oprah2020 be a *thing*?

Just in case, we saved her the time of filling out that pesky presidential cabinet.

Vice President of the United States
Tom Hanks

Mega

Well, this one is a no-brainer.

Department of State
Secretary Bill Pullman

Mega

After rallying the ENTIRE WORLD to fight off “annihilation” he can definitely handle some international diplomacy.

Department of the Treasury
Secretary Satoshi Nakamoto

Mega

That’s the fake name used by the person who designed bitcoin who we’re going to assume is actually Rami Malek/Christian Slater as Mr. Robot.

Department of Defense
Secretary Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Mega

Who else would we want managing the defense of this great nation!?

Department of Justice
Attorney General Amal Clooney

Mega

Everything else on this list is sort of tongue-in-cheek with the exception of this one. We would be so lucky as to get Amal Clooney as AG.

Department of the Interior
Secretary Joanna Gaines

Instagram: @joannagaines

This is the dept of interior design, right?

Department of Agriculture
Secretary Mike Tyson

Mega

Everyone gets a pot farm and the country is a more peaceful place. 

Department of Commerce
Secretary Jeff Bezos

Mega

Amazon owns us all already, might as well make it official.

Department of Labor
Secretary Reese Witherspoon

Mega

Based on her work with Time’s Up and pretty much everything she said at the Golden Globe’s we want Reese to handle our collective workplaces.

Department of Health and Human Services
Secretary Patrick Dempsey

Mega

Dr. McDreamy making us all a little McHealthier … he probably won’t prescribe McDonald’s. 

Department of Housing and Urban Development
Secretary Sir Anthony Hopkins

Mega

Westworld is pretty, pretty, pretty impressive.

Department of Transportation
Secretary Elon Musk

Mega

One word: Tesla.

Department of Energy
Secretary Neil deGrasse Tyson

Mega

We just assume you need someone super smart for this one.

Department of Education
Secretary JK Rowling

Mega

Hogwarts > Harvard

Department of Homeland Security
Secretary Kiefer Sutherland

Mega

“I’m federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.”

White House Chief of Staff
Kerry Washington

Mega

Running the White House? It’s been handled. 

Environmental Protection Agency
Administrator Leo DiCaprio

MEGA

No one loves the environment more. No. One.

White House Press Secretary
Allison Janney

MEGA

Not a cabinet position but we’d be foolish not to tap C.J. Cregg to reprise her role as press secretary.