It was a rough Tuesday for Tamra Judge. The “Real Housewives of Orange County” star kept the Bravo cameras rolling while she broke down during a therapy session with her oldest son, Ryan Vieth, and revealed she’s scared he’s going to commit suicide one day. The 52-year-old had more than just her “Housewives” feud on her mind during tonight’s episode and it included making sure her 33-year-old son knew she’s there for him. Fans watched the emotional episode which showed the two sitting down for a group therapy session with his therapist, Dr. Mcayla Sarno. Ryan explained his inner struggles, which he said stemmed from his childhood.
“He’s not in a good headspace and I hate to see him struggle,” Tamra said about her son in the episode. “I feel like he’s at a point in his life when he’s just numb to life,” she added. “When Ryan gets overloaded with things, he just kind of shuts down. He’s at that point in his life right now where he’s not happy, and I want to see him happy.” Explaining how hard it was to raise him at a young age, Tamra quickly grabbed the tissue box as she began to talk about his younger years.
“I was 17 when I got pregnant with Ryan,” she explained while getting choked up. “I was still in high school.” She ended up marrying Ryan’s father, Darren Vieth, but they split “probably a year later.” Tamra moved on and had three other children —Sidney Barney, 20, Spencer Barney, 18, and Sophia Barney, 13 — with her second husband, Simon Barney. After the two divorced in 2011, she said “I do” to her now-husband, “RHOC” star Eddie Judge. He has a four-year-old daughter of his own. Ryan talked about the feeling of seeing his siblings live a more privileged life than himself and how he harbored negative feelings over it.
“I think I have a lot of resentment growing up,” Ryan admitted during therapy. “I didn’t have the worst life, but the older I get, the more I see how my brother, my sisters are growing up, I think a bit of me inside is angry about it.” Tamra immediately revealed she felt at fault, stating, “I carry guilt because I feel like I let him down. I look at my kids now and the opportunities that they have. I have two kids in college now; Ryan, he ran out of the house at 18 because he couldn’t stand his stepdad.” She added that she “didn’t give him the perfect childhood,” and said, “It’s heartbreaking.”
Probably the most emotional moment of the episode was when Ryan’s therapist asked him to create a list with words to describe how he felt about himself. The list read, “I’m a bad person, worthless, I’m a failure, can’t succeed, powerless, I don’t belong, I don’t matter.” That’s when Tamra lost it and began crying. “It just makes me want to die,” she stated. “I struggled with depression, I was sad, I had no self-worth. To hear Ryan say that, it scares me. I worry that one day Ryan might commit suicide. That’s my biggest fear.”
He also revealed the one thing that makes him feel worthy, which is being a dad to his daughter Ava. Fans watched as Ryan broke down when discussing how unconditionally loved by her he feels. “You are a good dad,” Tamra lovingly told her son. While the “RHOC” star is supportive of how he’s raising Ava, she also said she’s concerned he’s pouring too much energy into taking care of her and not making time for himself. “I can look in my son’s eyes and see that he is not himself,” Tamra stated. “He is so troubled by his past that he doesn’t want her to have that life. He just wants to protect that little girl so much, just smother her, that he doesn’t let other people in. He isolates himself and it concerns me.”
Her son’s therapy wasn’t the only time fans saw Tamra struggle during Tuesday’s episode. She also sat down with Shannon Beador, who confronted her on talking smack behind her back. “RHOC” is on Bravo every Tuesday at 9PM PT.