The Brutal Golden Globes Jokes Nikki Glaser Was Forced To Cut

Nikki Glaser’s return as Golden Globes host delivered one of the night’s most talked-about monologues, but much of her sharpest material never made it to air. 

After the ceremony, the comedian revealed that several jokes were removed before the live broadcast, including biting celebrity roasts and risky industry commentary. 

Speaking openly about the process, Glaser explained how editing, timing, and sensitivity shaped what viewers ultimately saw and what was left behind.

Glaser shared details about her cut Golden Globes jokes during an appearance on “The Howard Stern Show.”

According to Stern, Glaser kept a running list on her phone titled “The Stern File,” which contained all the jokes she had considered for the ceremony. 

The list included far more aggressive material than what aired during the three-hour broadcast in Beverly Hills.

Speaking about her decision to cut the jokes, Glaser explained that deciding which jokes to drop is part of hosting a live awards show, especially one watched by millions. 

While it can be difficult to abandon jokes she worked hard on, she acknowledged that not every punchline belongs on a global stage. 

Reflecting on past experiences, the 41-year-old shared, “There’s been times where jokes have really hurt people’s feelings or I’ve gone too far and I feel like I am always okay with losing stuff now.” 

One of the first jokes Nikki Glaser discussed involved Sydney Sweeney and her boxing biopic “Christy.” 

The film struggled at the box office, making only $1.3 million in its opening weekend, and Glaser initially wrote a joke referencing Hollywood’s declining theater attendance. 

The joke began, “Tonight is a night of celebration but we can’t ignore it’s a weird time in Hollywood.” 

It continued with, “You know, people just aren’t going to the theaters to see things.”

The host then escalated the punchline, “And if you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14.” 

Glaser ultimately removed the joke after learning Sweeney would not be attending the ceremony. 

She decided it would land differently without the actress in the room and chose to move on rather than risk unnecessary backlash.

The actress also abandoned a controversial joke involving Particle6’s AI-generated actress Tilly Norwood.

“You know, everyone’s concerned about AI. Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,” Glaser joked, before deciding it crossed a line.

Several of Glaser’s unused jokes targeted Sean Penn before she settled on the version that aired. 

Early drafts focused on his physical appearance and screen presence, including a line assuming he was nominated for “best neck veins” and another comparing him to “the defiant last tree standing in a rainforest.”

She also considered pairing Penn with Benicio Del Toro and Leonardo DiCaprio in a joke about their signature on-screen squinting expressions. 

Another unused DiCaprio joke played on his well-known dating history, referencing his tendency to date much younger women and joking about him checking identification.

“Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID. Just making sure that the year starts with a 2,” she joked.

Additional jokes Nikki Glaser cut included material aimed at “One Battle After Another” actress Chase Infiniti. 

Several of the jokes played off her name, likening it to a credit card promotion and later twisting it into a more explicit punchline involving Penn. 

“Chase Infiniti Pain is actually her real name. Chase Infiniti Pain. Which is also how Sean Penn gets an erection. He chases infinity pain,” one punchline read. 

Glaser also scrapped a sexual joke involving Timothée Chalamet and Amy Poehler’s podcast Good Hang. 

“Amy Poehler is here for her podcast, Good Hang, which is what Timothee Chalamet says after sex,” the joke read.

Another joke that didn’t survive the final edit targeted Julia Roberts and her film “After the Hunt.” 

Glaser admitted the line was funny but unnecessary, especially given the crowded list of jokes already aimed at major stars.

Despite cutting a significant amount of material, Glaser’s Golden Globes performance was widely praised by audiences and industry insiders. 

Her opening monologue included a daring joke about CBS News, the same network airing the ceremony, which drew immediate attention.

As reported by the Daily Mail, producers Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss later explained that the joke was approved during rehearsal after network executives signed off. 

Weiss emphasized that Glaser’s strength as a host lay in her willingness to poke fun at everyone, including herself and the industry as a whole.

They also expressed hope that she would return as host in 2027. 

Weiss said, “I think she’s a perfect host for us,” praising her work ethic and adaptability, while Glaser herself summed it up simply, “You just don’t get everything you want and you just gotta move on and let’s just write a better joke.”