Holly Madison Feels Her Undiagnosed Autism Made Her 'Fall In Love' With Playboy Founder, Hugh Hefner

Former Playboy star Holly Madison revealed she was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, bringing clarity to lifelong social struggles she once attributed to her Alaskan upbringing.

She believes her undiagnosed autism made her vulnerable to Hugh Hefner, with whom she spent seven years at the Playboy Mansion.

Reflecting on their relationship, Holly Madison admitted she "hated" the group encounters but found private moments more normal.

Madison says her journey to the Playboy Mansion might have unfolded differently had she known she was autistic.

The 45-year-old former Playboy Playmate revealed that she was officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism in 2023, a revelation that, rather than shocking her, brought a deep sense of clarity and relief.

In an interview with Page Six, Madison explained that she had "certain social difficulties and difficulties relating to people," but had always attributed them to growing up isolated in a remote part of Alaska.

It wasn't until years later, during her marriage to Pasquale Rotella, with whom she shares two children, that the possibility of autism came into focus.

Rotella reportedly confided in Madison's mother about the difficulties he faced trying to emotionally connect with his wife.

Her mother, in turn, shared that she had always suspected there was "something going on" about her daughter's way of relating to the world.

Following seven clinical evaluations, Madison finally received confirmation that she is on the autism spectrum.

Looking back, Madison believes her undiagnosed autism may have made her more vulnerable in her early 20s, and led her to "fall in love" with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, who was more than 50 years older than her.

She spent seven years living at the Playboy Mansion alongside several other women, where Hefner was known to expect constant intimacy.

Reflecting on that chapter of her life, she explained, "I feel like having the difficulty I did connecting with people for so long made me feel like when I was meeting somebody who was older and more experienced and maybe a little bit better at manipulating people, I thought, 'Oh, wow, maybe I'm meant to be with an older man. Maybe this is what it is.' It just felt like love."

Her diagnosis, she added, helps her better understand her mindset and motivations during that time.

"It definitely sheds some light on where my feelings were at and my motivations and why I had certain impressions about things," Madison noted.

Though she insists she doesn't regret her experiences, Madison admits that knowing about her autism earlier might have changed how she handled certain situations.

Today, as co-host of the "Girls Next Level" podcast, she views her diagnosis as an "interesting" and important part of her personal story.

Later this month, "The Girls Next Door" alum will make her first major public appearance since sharing her diagnosis, serving as the event ambassador for the 2025 Grant a Gift Gala in Las Vegas.

The annual fundraiser supports children and young adults living with autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders by providing access to vital resources and care.

Despite her fame, Madison describes herself as a naturally introverted and private person. Still, after learning about her diagnosis, she felt a strong sense of responsibility to use her platform to speak out and help break down stereotypes, fight stigma, and advocate for better services for those on the spectrum.

Earlier in May, Holly Madison revisited her relationship with Playboy founder Hefner, candidly admitting that she "hated" the group sexual encounters that often took place at the Playboy Mansion.

Speaking on the "In Your Dreams" podcast with host Owen Thiele, the 45-year-old offered an unfiltered look at what really went on behind closed doors during her years as one of Hefner's girlfriends.

"It's a very different story between when we were just by ourselves than with everybody else in the room," she explained. "Everybody else in the room, no. That was disgusting. I hated it. I made it very known I hated it."

Despite their 53-year age difference, Madison said intimacy between her and Hefner felt surprisingly "normal" when it was private.

"If it was just me and him, it was a lot more normal than you would think," she explained.

In 2023, Madison made some bold claims about the late Hefner, linked to his alleged dislike of red lipstick.

During an appearance on the "Ahead of the Curve" podcast, she discussed his aversion to the specific color of lipstick being worn by the Playboy models, claiming that it was Hefner's "control tactic," and that she didn't have an issue with it when she first entered the mansion.

"I think it was a control tactic, but also, when I was brand new, I wore red lipstick out a couple of times, and he didn't say anything about it," Madison recalled, adding, "because when you were the new girl in the group, you were always treated well."

Madison then brought up a phrase she heard about being in a cult, stating, "Somebody said, like, the higher up you are in a cult, the worse you're treated because they want the new people to bond and feel into it."