Madonna Breaks Silence On Past Suicide Thoughts Amid Bitter Custody Battle

Losing her child is something Madonna could never endure, as the end of her second marriage to actor Guy Ritchie put her mental health through the wringer.

The singer, commonly referred to as the "Queen of Pop," recently reflected on her bitter custody battle with the Hollywood veteran. She revealed shocking truths about their divorce, noting that fighting to stop Ritchie from taking their son sent her to a dark place.

Madonna was married to Guy Ritchie for eight years from 2000 until she filed for divorce in October 2008. They welcomed their son, Rocco, in 2000, and adopted a Malawian baby, David Banda, in 2006.

The "Like A Virgin" hitmaker opened up about one of the most challenging moments in her life in a new interview, revealing that her custody issues with Ritchie made her suicidal. Madonna claimed she had days when she wanted to cut her arms off because she was struggling.

"I actually contemplated suicide. That probably sounds really weird coming from me because I'm not emo … but I was like, 'I can't take this pain anymore,'" she confessed on the latest episode of Jay Shetty's "On Purpose" podcast.

Madonna explained that she was okay with the end of her marriage to Ritchie; however, his attempts to take her son made death feel like a more preferable option. She told Shetty it was highly challenging to deal with her mental health amid the custody battle because she was on her Rebel Heart Tour.

Madonna confessed that it was difficult going up on stage and putting on a great show for fans, only to go home and continue hashing out the custody issues with her lawyers. On some days, the challenges broke her, with the singer saying,

"I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room, sobbing. I really thought it was the end of the world. I couldn't take it."

Naturally, Madonna does not battle suicidal thoughts anymore and credits her spiritual journey for helping her overcome the rough phases in life. She noted that it taught her to see challenges, such as her custody battle, as lessons rather than punishments.

Madonna's custody drama with Ritchie began in December 2015, when her son, Rocco, then 15, expressed his desire to remain in the UK with his father. The case went down before Justice Deborah Kaplan at a New York Supreme Court hearing, where she ordered the then-teenager to return to his mother.

Kaplan stressed that Rocco needed to return to the US by January 2016, but when the time came, a source from Ritchie's camp alleged the boy left his mom willingly. The source told PEOPLE that he preferred living with his father over his mother, whom they described as an "old-school parent."

The custody case ended in September 2016 when Madonna stopped trying to force Rocco to leave the UK and dropped her illegal retention allegations.

She reached a settlement with Ritchie, whose attorney claimed their son's needs had changed, and they agreed to let him live with his father, according to Page Six.

The spiritual practice Madonna credited for helping her heal from the custody drama with Ritchie was Kabbalah. The Blast covered the story, reporting that she credited the branch of Jewish tradition for her years-long successes and achievements.

Madonna explained that one needed to be spiritual to be successful, claiming she wouldn't be the star she is today without her Kabbalah journey. She added that true purpose could not be found in bright spaces, but in confronting the world's dark realities.

"My soul's purpose is to reveal light in the world through whatever I do. I want it all, but I want it for the sake of sharing, not to keep it for myself," Madonna claimed. She noted that over time, she learned to stand out rather than being controlled by the opinions of others.

Madonna's bombshell revelation about her suicidal thoughts came a month after a source's claims about her blossoming relationship with Akeem Morris. The Blast shared that the source claimed she was willing to quit plastic surgery for her much younger lover.

The source claimed Morris was different from other people, noting that Madonna wished to listen to him and accept that she was beautiful without resorting to plastic surgery. "She now wants to own being 67 rather than trying to look 27," they declared.

To look her age, the source claimed Madonna prioritized cosmetic treatments that made her appear refreshed, rather than surgery. The list included treatments like lymphatic drainage, oxygen facials, and LED lights.

What shocking truths will Madonna spill next?