Burned Beauty: How Tonya Turned Trauma Into Advocacy After Surviving A Domestic Violence Attack

After surviving a terrible domestic violence attack in December 2018, one that nearly took her life, Tonya Renee Meisenbach spent two months in a coma and endured dozens of skin graft surgeries.

She was discharged with the hope of ongoing monthly reconstructive surgeries, but in March 2020, the pandemic put everything on hold. Alone in her home and unsure of her future, she spiraled into depression.

What followed for Tonya Renee Meisenbach, however, was the beginning of something transformative.

WARNING: STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT

In December 2018, Tonya survived a brutal domestic violence flame burn attack that left 35% of her upper body severely burned, including her entire face, chest, both arms, and upper back.

In a matter of seconds, her life was forever changed. The Atlanta native spent two months in a coma as doctors performed multiple skin-graft surgeries in a fight to save her life.

When Tonya picked up her phone five months after the attack, she wasn’t prepared for what stared back at her in the reflection.

“That moment was horrible because I didn't really do it on purpose. I was in my hospital bed… I picked up my iPhone… and I saw myself in the black screen,” she told The Blast. “It was horrible because… it was worse than I imagined. If you've never seen it, you have no expectation. You've only seen it in the movies.”

Tonya had just become strong enough to lift her phone. Alone in her hospital room for the first time, the moment became a turning point, one she wouldn’t revisit often. “I didn't really look much again thereafter. It's like I saw it. That was enough.”

During that time of isolation and healing, Tonya decided to share her story for the first time. With a wig on her head and makeup carefully applied, something she loved doing before the attack, she created a Facebook post and YouTube video to let friends and colleagues know what had happened.

“I started feeling better about myself… and I decided to make a video,” she said. “I didn’t even know enough about social media to realize that the world could see it, not just my Facebook friends.”

The response was overwhelming. People from all over began messaging her with gratitude, support, and their own stories. “I started getting messages like, ‘I’m going through this,’ and ‘I love your makeup, how do you do that?’ Just positivity.”

That video became the beginning of her platform Burned Beauty 2018, a digital space where Tonya began sharing her daily makeup routines and inspirational messages, offering honesty, strength, and hope to others navigating their own trauma.

But her mission soon evolved from makeup to advocacy. As Tonya began healing, she also started processing the emotional and psychological abuse she had endured long before the fire.

“I wasn't even aware that what I was going through was emotional abuse,” she said. “I didn’t understand gaslighting. Manipulation. But if you think you're in an abusive situation, you are.”

For Tonya, speaking to the Partnership Against Domestic Violence was crucial. Her ex-husband, who she says intentionally set her on fire, had spun a story to authorities, hospital staff, and even her, suggesting it was an accident. He still has not been held legally accountable.

“He had me arrested… saying I was just a bitter ex after getting burned by accident,” she said. “People would have believed him. But [the Partnership] immediately knew… So tell someone. Reach out. And be very careful—because when you're about to leave is the most dangerous time.”

Through sharing her truth, Tonya found clarity, and courage. “I started doing TikTok livestreams and telling my story every day. The more I told it, the more the picture in my mind didn’t match,” she said.

With guidance from a therapist and support from a domestic violence attorney, she began putting the pieces together. “It was so critical to speak out,” she said.

That awareness also extended to a deeper understanding of what abuse can look like. She said, "If you are being secretive about what goes on, you are in that relationship. Identify that. You need to speak out.”

"Resilience is key and that nobody can define you because that's what he's spent a lot of years trying to do is control define," she said of being in an abusive relationship. "And that our greatest thought and that feeling good shouldn't be dependent upon what someone else thinks of this. And if we're at that point, we need to rethink it."

Tonya’s message today is clear: survivors don’t have to hide. Through Burned Beauty 2018, she continues to empower others to share their stories, take back their narratives, and find healing.

“I just started doing my makeup every day and posting a picture and writing my thoughts,” she said. “And it just continued to snowball.”

Her face tells a story of survival, but her voice tells a story of purpose. And now, as a fierce advocate for burn survivors and domestic violence awareness, Tonya is helping others see their own beauty and strength, even in the scars.

Keep up with Tonya and her advocacy via her Instagram.