Alec Baldwin 'Wanted to Kill Himself' After 'Rust' Shooting, Wife Hilaria Claims
By Kristin Myers on March 5, 2025 at 11:30 AM EST
Actor Alec Baldwin was reportedly in a dark place following the 2021 fatal shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of the Western film “Rust.”
The “30 Rock” actor had been rehearsing a scene inside a church when the gun he was holding went off, although he has since claimed that he never pulled the trigger.
It is still unclear how a live bullet ended up inside a prop gun on a movie set, but his trial was dismissed on the third day of witness testimony after a judge determined that the prosecution did not disclose evidence to his legal team and dismissed charges against the actor with prejudice.
Alec Baldwin’s Wife Hilaria Says He Struggles With ‘Survivor’s Guilt’
On the second episode of their TLC reality series, “The Baldwins,” Alec’s wife Hilaria Baldwin opened up on the “survivor’s guilt” that the actor has been struggling with following the fatal shooting.
“I found these text messages the other day between us, you know, the day after,” Hilaria told the camera. “And [Alec] said he wanted to kill himself.”
In a confessional, she went on to say that her husband “has survivor’s guilt” following the fatal shooting. “You're involved in this thing that nobody could even possibly imagine. And so he goes back to that day, he wishes it were him,” she said. “He would change places [with Hutchins] in a second.”
Hilaria Baldwin Says His Health Has Declined Since The Shooting
In addition to mental health struggles, Hilaria says that the “Supercell” actor has also been experiencing several physical elements that include heart problems, fainting, and multiple hospitalizations.
“He'll never be the same,” Hilaria said during the second episode. “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously the past few years. All of a sudden, he has started having heart problems. He's been hospitalized multiple times.”
She also recalled a time that he “fainted,” which resulted in her “shaking him” awake. “It's hard sometimes,” the former yoga instructor added. “But, you know, hopefully we're in the hardest but the tail end of it.”
Alec Baldwin Will Be Deposed In May Over Halyna Hutchins' Family Civil Suit
Even though he will no longer face criminal consequences for the death of Halyna Hutchins, her mother, father, and sister are still filing a civil lawsuit against the actor. According to a filing obtained by TheHollywood Reporter, their lawyers intend to take Baldwin’s deposition on May 9 at their firm’s New York office.
An attorney for the family, Gloria Allred, said, “It is long overdue for him to testify under oath about what really happened that caused the death” of Halyna Hutchins.”
Gloria Allred Slams ‘The Baldwins’ Reality Show As ‘Shameless’
![Police in the US have released video footage from the set of the film Rust, including of the aftermath of the fatal shooting of a cinematographer by actor Alec Baldwin. Halyna Hutchins, 42, was shot by Mr Baldwin while he rehearsed with what he believed to be a safe gun. Footage, which has no audio, released shows Baldwin dressed as a cowboy rehearsing with a gun ahead of the deadly shooting. He can be seen in stills from that video posing with the gun, and with ammo / ammunition on his costume in a scene set in a church. A clapper board with Ms Hutchins' name on it can also be seen. It's not known if the gun he is holding is the one that fired the deadly bullets. The actor, who was also a producer on the film, previously said he did not pull the trigger and had no idea how a live bullet came to be on the set near Santa Fe in the US state of New Mexico. The Santa Fe County sheriff’s office released a trove of documents released to the investigation this week. 26 Apr 2022 Pictured: Alec Baldwin seen in stills from video footage of Rust rehearsals released by investigators in the US. Photo credit: Santa Fe County Sheriff/MEGA TheMegaAgency.com +1 888 505 6342 (Mega Agency TagID: MEGA851467_005.jpg) [Photo via Mega Agency]](https://theblast.prod.media.wordpress.mattersmedia.io/brand-img/123/0x0/2023/01/Alec_Baldwin_Rust_Charges_2.jpg?)
In a statement obtained by Peoplemagazine, Allred questioned why Baldwin was highlighting the emotional toll that the “Rust” shooting took on him.
“Why is he claiming that he has PTSD?” she asked. “Is his reality show just a veiled attempt to create sympathy for himself with a future jury pool in our civil case? Is this just a shameless attempt to portray him as the real victim in this case?”
Allred claimed that the actor never apologized for the death of Hutchins, stating that he “never called or tried to contact her parents or sister to say that he was sorry, and to this day he has never taken responsibility for Halyna’s death.”
Alec Baldwin Opened Up On ‘Rust’ Shooting During The Premiere
During the premiere of “The Baldwins” last month, Alec told his wife, “This has been just surreal” when discussing the fatal “Rust” shooting and the subsequent legal turmoil that he has been facing over the last few years.
“I mean, I can't even believe that we're going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than me, because I think to myself, well, you know, I'm going to try to my best to just get through it, and I think what it's done to you and how much it's hurt you and everything,” the actor said.
In his confessional, he added, “This past year was just terrible. There were times I'd lay in bed. I'd go, ‘Wow, my kids. I can't get up.’ That's not like me. I'm not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never.”
Hilaria then revealed that the actor’s OCD has gotten worse since he was diagnosed with PTSD and asked himself, “If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn't it have been me?”
