Colton Underwood Reveals How Attempted Suicide Changed His Life
By Kelly Coffey-Behrens on October 10, 2024 at 4:30 PM EDT
Colton Underwood, former star of "The Bachelor," has been open about his struggles with mental health, particularly his battle with depression and suicidal thoughts.
His challenges reached a peak before he publicly came out as gay in April 2021, during which time he experienced deep internal conflict and feelings of shame about his sexuality.
In a new interview, Colton Underwood revealed that at one point, the pressure and fear of coming out led him to attempt suicide, a pivotal moment that became life-changing for him.
Colton Underwood Opens Up About Mental Health And His Attempted Suicide
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Underwood found himself battling depression and anxiety, revealing that it got so bad he “didn't see a way out.”
While alone in his Los Angeles home, the former "Bachelor" says he attempted suicide, an act that thankfully failed. He now describes it as the turning point in his journey toward better mental health.
“I woke up the next morning and I remember vividly staring into my dog's eyes and realizing I needed help,” he told People Magazine. “That was my moment of, I have to make some changes because I'm not healthy right now.”
Colton Underwood Has Since Sought Help And Is Continuously Working On His Mental Health
Underwood shared that this dark period forced him to confront his mental health head-on and seek help.
“I immediately loaded my dog into my Jeep and drove 15 hours to Colorado to my parents and I told them everything that was going on," he added. "The next week I was seeing a therapist and a psychologist and getting on a game plan.”
He has since advocated for mental health awareness.
Colton Underwood Struggled With His True Identity, Which Was A Big Reason For His Mental Health Struggles
Underwood’s mental health struggles stemmed from spending years hiding his true identity. The 32-year-old came out as gay in an April 2021 "Good Morning America" interview, but prior to that, he had never fully accepted his sexuality, even while searching for love with women on various "Bachelor" franchise shows.
In recognition of World Mental Health Day, Underwood is speaking out about how hiding his true identity fueled his battle with depression.
“I was depressed because I wasn't living my most authentic life. I was sort of hiding myself and had a lot of shame and guilt around who I was,” he revealed. “And I also had a lot of anxiety because I was so publicly straight and I sort of doubled down so many times in my life and career who I was projecting to be. So that all really caught up to me.”
“I think I knew deep down for a while that I was struggling, but I couldn't say it out loud. I couldn't even say it to myself,” the former reality TV star added. “And unfortunately, it got to be so much that I had that failed suicide attempt.”
Colton Underwood Says Mental Health Is Always A Journey
Underwood first rose to fame in 2018 as a contestant on "The Bachelorette," later becoming the star of "The Bachelor" in 2019. Throughout his appearances on the reality shows, there was speculation about his sexuality, but he did not publicly address it at the time.
In April 2021, Underwood officially came out as gay during a candid interview on "Good Morning America." He revealed that he had struggled with accepting his sexuality for years and felt a sense of relief in finally being open about who he truly is.
Acknowledging that "mental health is always a journey," the former NFL player has sought therapy, taken medication, and relied on the support of his loved ones over the years. “I think that for different people, different things are going to work at different times,” he says. “I needed peers at times, I needed a therapist at times, I needed a psychologist at times, I needed medication at times.”
Today, Underwood says he has reached a place where he feels comfortable and healthy in both his mind and his identity. “Everybody can relate to that,” he continued. “They need to be able to be free of the stigma and the shame that a lot of people always carry around the words 'mental health,' and get properly diagnosed. I think that's the first step to healing: being vulnerable enough to ask for help.”
Colton Underwood Becomes An Advocate For LGBTQ+ Rights
Since coming out, Underwood has become an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility, using his platform to share his journey and inspire others.
He even launched a podcast called "Evolving with Colton," where he discusses his personal experiences and the challenges he's faced along the way.
