Beau Clark Talks Depression Following 'Vanderpump Rules' Exit, Fears For Future

Instagram | Beau Clark

Beau Clark addressed his struggles with depression and his fears about the future on the March 26 episode of Dear Media's "You're Gonna Love Me" podcast, which is hosted by his former "Vanderpump Rules" cast mate and longtime friend Katie Maloney. 

Speaking out months after wife Stassi Schroeder, who he wed last September, was fired from the Bravo reality series, Clark admitted to digging himself into a bit of a depression.

"It’s just self-sabotage," he explained of his ongoing struggles, via Reality Blurb.

"All of a sudden, I’m like, I need this. I need this to happen. I’m fearful of this [and] fearful of that,” he continued. “I have so much fear of the future. I have so much fear of if I’m going to be a good dad – I know I’m gonna be a good dad, but how am I gonna take care of my daughter, you know?"

After tying the knot last September, Clark and Schroeder welcomed their first child, daughter Hartford Charlie Rose Clark, in January. And, with work slow for the casting director, his mind had frequently wondered to dark possibilities.

"Because work has been slow because of COVID. There’s not many things that are being cast. So, I’m stressing out and I’m literally broken down. I’m crying," Clark admitted to Maloney. "I don’t think I would ever take medicine to make myself feel better, but it’s definitely been tough.”

According to Clark, he's suffered through “dark thoughts” recently, especially now that he's responsible for another human, and that's understandable. After all, new fathers always feel added pressure to provide for their families.

In addition to his financial stressors, Clark also experiences worries over what could potentially happen to his new baby. 

“When I hold her sometimes or if I pick her up over a chair that has a sharp corner, or even anything, and I think about, Oh my gosh, what if I dropped her,” he said. “Yeah, dark thoughts! But when I think about that, I get nauseous to my stomach and I would have never thought that I would ever think about that."

"Like, one of my friends I saw on Instagram, their son went to the hospital, and just reading that I started crying. And I started getting really emotional because I was thinking about what if that happened [to Hartford.] You know, I have the dad thoughts and the dad heart now,” Clark explained. 

While Clark and Schroeder won't be seen when "Vanderpump Rules" returns, the rest of the cast is expected to begin filming nine in the coming weeks at SUR Restaurant.