Mother's Day Debate: TikTokers Spar Over Who Deserves To Celebrate

Mother's Day: a day to celebrate motherhood. But exactly who should be celebrated on Mother's Day? All mothers or just moms in the "trenches"?

TikTokers are actively debating who the holiday is meant for and who needs to step aside, and it's quite heated with both sides of the argument represented.

A few weeks ago, Emily Wehner shared her views on Mother's Day in a TikTok video which started quite the debate.

"It's Mother's Day, not Grandmother's Day," she began her video. "After my first Mother's Day, we established these rules because I was pretty sad. I had spent the whole Mother's Day coordinating grandparent visits and I didn't get to do anything for myself."

She then explained that she likes to go out to brunch and do some things around the house as a family. She also said she likes to enjoy some "alone time gardening" and reading.

"We celebrate my mom and my mother-in-law on different days," she continued. "We do the same thing on Father's Day. My husband gets to choose what he wants to do and then we see my dad and my father-in-law on different days."

Viewers immediately dropped into the comment section to share their views on what Wehner thinks about Mother's Day, with some agreeing with her views and others, not so much.

"Ya selfish women want your husbands to forget about their moms for you, can’t wait until your kids grow up and do the same to you," one person wrote. Another added, "I was resentful that we spent time with my husband’s mom on Mother's Day. But now both of our moms are dead. I’m glad we celebrated them when we could. We have to remember we are here because of THEM."

Some viewers agreed with Wehner's thoughts.

"I absolutely agree. I'm so tired of wasting my Mother's Day about my mom and MIL when I'm a mom too! I don't wanna run around to both houses just to gift them when I can do it a day before or after," one person shared.

Another viewer added, "Amen! It’s for us moms who are in the trenches of motherhood. Spend it how you see fit and rewarding for you…with or without your children!"

Another content creator on the app shared a similar message about who should be celebrated on Mother's Day.

"We need to discuss Mother's Day. Husbands, mother-in-laws, grandparents, we love you. Mother's Day is for the moms in the trenches," Miranda Cornelius said.

"Mother's Day, it's for the moms of the young kids. If she doesn't want to go spend the day at her in-laws, she doesn't have to. If she doesn't wanna cook a meal, she doesn't have to."

Before concluding her video, she reminded everyone that "Mother's Day is for the moms that are in the trenches."

Lots of viewers didn't agree with her thought process and shared their views in the comment section.

"You have some growing up to do if you think being in the trenches stops when your child is grown. Typical young person mentality. 'Me me me look at me,'" one viewer wrote.

Another person said, "Mother's Day is for ALL MOMS."

In a follow-up video, Cornelius responded to a comment and explained a little further into her thought process.

"I would like to post a follow-up and a clarification. I spend Mother's Day every year with my mom. That's my choice. And if my mother-in-law lived closer, they are four-and-a-half hours away, I would spend it with my mother-in-law in a heartbeat," she explained.

"This was really geared toward other moms who are pressured or forced into doing something on that day that they don't wanna do."

She explained that her first video wasn't meant to sound like you should "leave your mom out" or that they "don't matter" and said she would "literally not survive motherhood without" her mom and mother-in-law.

"Loved what you said!! My baby is 3 and I never do what I want on Mother’s Day. I pray this year I have the strength to do what I WANT instead of people please," one viewer shared in the comments.

Another said, "I think the point was pretty obvious. A LOT of husbands neglect the mother or the children on Mother’s Day because 'you’re not my mom'. Older mothers shouldn’t be encouraging that behavior."

TikToker Paige Turner also shared her thoughts on only celebrating "moms in the trenches" on Mother's Day.

"If you're one of the people who's confused about Mother's Day only being for moms in the trenches, let me just paint you a picture," she began her video. "If you're a grandmother, chances are you've been sleeping through the night uninterrupted for a very long time, maybe even decades. If you're a mom in the trenches, chances are you're not sleeping through the night at all ever."

She continued her video by comparing grandmothers and mothers as far as free time, hobbies, self-care, music in the car, and eating in peace.

"And this is why so many moms say Mother's Day is for the moms in the trenches because what moms are asking for for Mother's Day is to sleep in, to take a shower alone, to have some peace and quiet, to eat a meal by themselves uninterrupted by little children, to just have a day where they don't have to think about serving everybody around them," she continued.

"So when you ask that mother to show up and feed you and celebrate you and take care of you on Mother's Day, it feels a little bit insulting, because your every single day is all she's asking for."

One viewer pointed out, "Every mom is in the trenches. Every mother needs to be celebrated. I still have kids I’m raising but it doesn’t make my mom less because she has no one at home. She still does for all of us."

Another viewer shared, "Mom in the trenches here. I find it ridiculous that people want to pick and choose which moms to celebrate. Once a mother, always a mother. I am grateful for every day I have my mom and MIL."