Hugh Hefner’s Widow Crystal Slams His Bedroom Prowess As 'Odd And Robotic'

Crystal Hefner has opened up about her s-x life with her late husband, Hugh Hefner. 

According to the acclaimed s—x icon's widow, their bedroom wiles were less of a wild, unbridled passion pit and more similar to a scripted s—x farce stage.

Crystal has disclosed an absence of kissing, romance, or intimacy in the bedroom for the entirety of her and Hugh's years-long relationship. 

The news comes as a shock, considering she was promptly invited to participate in a group s-x session with the master of the manor shortly after her first encounter with Hugh at a Halloween party in the Los Angeles mansion. 

Recalling the events, she narrated in her recently published memoir, "Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself:"

"This was a well-oiled and well-practiced sequence of events. One that went the same exact way every time. Picking some girls from the party and bringing them up. Changing into the uniform for the job: silk pajamas. The dimming of the lights. The music. The porn. Passing the pot. And then the s—x."

Crystal soon learned that the sexual encounter with Hugh was "odd and robotic," expressing the feeling that Hef was merely going through the motions of something that had perhaps lost its once-fun and s-xy appeal, or maybe it was never so.

Despite the poor experience, Crystal highlighted in her book that giving the magazine publisher advice, especially regarding s—x, was not something anyone dared to do.

She suggested that as was expected of a man with immense wealth, power, and a circle of "yes people," individuals stuck to their own narratives, and others simply went "along with it."

The Playboy model then recounted that Hugh never once made eye contact with her during their intimate moments; instead, his gaze remained upward at the strategically placed mirror. 

"There was nothing s-xy about it. It was about power and control and leverage. It was a performance. I was auditioning for a part," Crystal described. In her book, she questioned whether he genuinely believed everyone was enjoying the experiences, writing:

"He seemed less s-x-savvy than some of the teenage boys I'd been with years ago. It was clear to me Hef had never taken a moment in his entire life to figure out how to please someone else."

Going further, the 37-year-old divulged a preference for group s—x over private encounters with her deceased spouse, who depended on sexual enhancement drugs. She detailed the "little blue pill nights," describing instances when they had s—x and he required music. 

Every time they were intimate, she repeated the same Madonna song, explaining that it was a way to ensure no other music in that place would be tainted.

Crystal shared that when the sexual activities ceased in 2014, she felt "relieved," especially since it meant freedom from the Playboy charade that she had maintained for Hugh and the public for years.

Reflecting on the Playboy Mansion's reputation as one of the first s—x-positive, liberated places, she now questions if that perception had ever truly existed.

The insight into the s—x life of the Hefners comes just a couple of days after Crystal talked about her decision to distance herself from the Hefner name and revert to her maiden name, Harris.

The 91-year-old's third and final wife made her intent known when she appeared on Rachel Uchitel's podcast "Miss Understood" earlier this week. During the discussion, Rachel inquired about the impact of the Hefner name on her.

Crystal, married to Hugh until his death in 2017, disclosed that Hefner's secretary swiftly changed her last name to match the late Playboy boss' after their marriage in 2012.

She revealed that her perspective on being a Hefner began to shift as she worked on her new memoir, and the process prompted her to reflect on her emotions regarding bearing the famous name. In the words of the disc jockey:

"For the last five years before writing the book, I just hid out. So, I wasn't really around people to talk about it or really dive into it. But since the book has come out, now, it's something that I'm internally thinking about. I don't want to be Hefner. I'm done with that. I've closed the book now that I've written it and I feel like my name needs to go back to what it originally was."