Mariska Hargitay Credits 'Law & Order SVU' Fans For Giving Her 'Strength' As A Rape Survivor

Mariska Hargitay has made a heartbreaking revelation about surviving a sexual assault in her thirties.

The “Law & Order: SVU” star is well known for fighting for victims related to sexual assault and harassment in the police drama series. However, no one knew the actress was also a rape survivor until she broke the news in a powerful story and credited fans as her source of strength.

Hargitay revealed in an emotional essay that she was raped by a friend in her thirties, a horrible experience she dissociated herself from to survive.

“A man raped me in my thirties. It wasn’t sexual at all. It was dominance and control. Overpowering control,“ she wrote. “He was a friend. Then he wasn’t. I tried all the ways I knew to get out of it. I tried to make jokes, to be charming, to set a boundary, to reason, to say no.”

Hargitay continued in the essay for PEOPLE Magazine: “He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified. I didn’t want it to escalate to violence. I now know it was already sexual violence, but I was afraid he would become physically violent. I went into freeze mode, a common trauma response when there is no option to escape.”

Describing how the experience felt, the renowned actress wrote, “I checked out of my body. I couldn’t process it. I couldn’t believe that it happened. That it could happen. So I cut it out. I removed it from my narrative.” According to the "Law & Order" star, she began dissociating herself from the trauma to survive the horrific event but that has changed.

“I now have so much empathy for the part of me that made that choice because that part got me through it. It never happened. Now I honor that part: I did what I had to do to survive.”

Now close to her sixties, the 59-year-old is ready to address her suppressed memories thanks to the strength she has garnered while playing the beloved agent Olivia Benson in “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.” In her words:

“Survivors who’ve watched the show have told me I’ve helped them and given them strength. But they’re the ones who’ve been a source of strength for me. They’ve experienced darkness and cruelty, an utter disregard for another human being, and they’ve done what they needed to survive.”

She added, “For some, that means making Olivia Benson a big part of their lives—which is an honor beyond measure—for others, it means building a foundation. We’re strong, and we find a way through."

Hargitay is now focusing her strength on helping other survivors through her Joyful Heart Foundation. Through this charity, she could do the work needed inside and began to address her experience as a severe case instead of diminishing it.

As for justice, she wants acknowledgment and an apology from her rapist. “That is a beginning. I don’t know what is on the other side of it, and it won’t undo what happened, but I know it plays a role in how I will work through this,” she explained before concluding her story with gratitude.

“I’m turning 60, and I’m so deeply grateful for where I am. I’m renewed, and I’m flooded with compassion for all of us who have suffered. And I’m still proudly in process,” Hargitay ended her emotional essay.

During her cover story, Hargitay also reflected on her time on “Law & Order: SVU” in honor of its 25th anniversary. When she first got the role, the actress noted she was the second lead beside Christopher Meloni's character, Elliot Stabler.

“He was the male lead and a little more experienced, and I was trying to catch up,” she recalled to PEOPLE Magazine. However, her character soon rose the ranks to become lieutenant and then squad captain, and eventually, Hargitay became the show's main lead with Meloni's departure in 2011.

“As I became more comfortable with the character, you saw this powerful woman emerge,” she said of her growth on the show. “In a way, it was a rebirth, and that was powerful and exciting and beautifully uncomfortable to reckon with one’s own power.”

Hargitay's character, Olivia Benson, is officially the longest-running character on a prime-time drama series as “Law & Order: SVU” returns for its 25th season on January 18. Additionally, this makes the police drama series the longest-running drama series in TV history.