Melissa Etheridge Reflects On Son's Death From Opioids: 'The Shame Is Too Big'

Singer Melissa Etheridge has gotten candid about the loss of her son, who passed away from an opioid addiction.

During a chat on a podcast, Etheridge stated that she has finally seen the bright side of things since Beckett's death. She previously said that she was not taking any "guilt" or "shame" for her son's death, noting that he "made his choices."

Etheridge made a stop on the "Making Space" podcast, where she opened up about her late son and how she still suffers grief from his loss. 

The singer noted that Beckett's death made her realize how large her "capacity to love" was and find enough strength in herself to prevent her from falling into "major depression."

"You've got the light in the dark and the positive and the negative… the good and the bad. Yet it's all one thing, and that one thing is love. When I lost my son, I learned how much my capacity for love was," Etheridge said, per Fox News.

She continued, "Not only loving him and missing him… being OK but loving myself enough not to go into major depression and guilt and shame, which so many families that lose loved ones to opioid addiction, just the shame is too big. It's huge. So, I had to believe that… there's an over-surrounding love to everything. Everything is love."

The singer noted on the podcast that she sometimes finds herself thinking of what she could have done differently to prevent her son from dying. She revealed that when such "shadows" are cast on her, she reminds herself that Beckett is no longer a part of this world.

"There can be days where the shadow comes on me. And I find myself thinking, 'Oh, what if? What if I had done this? What if I had only done that?" the singer said.

She continued," "And that doesn't serve me, and it causes me pain. So, my practice is to go, 'No… he has gone from this physical world… he is part of that larger nonphysical space.'"

Etheridge also noted that she still feels her son around her in the morning, particularly when she is "first waking up." She added on the podcast that she feels her father watching over her.

"I lost my father when I was 30. I'd already been kind of pulling on his energy and asking that. And so, you know, I really feel surrounded. So, I call it talking to my angels," Etheridge stated while referring to her memoir, "Talking to My Angels."

At the age of 21, Beckett died after overdosing on opioids, one of the drugs he was known to have used for years. According to Daily Mail, the last two months of his life were loaded with days of drug-induced reverie until he was found dead in his $3,500-a-month apartment in Denver.

After Beckett died in 2020, Etheridge made a post mourning him on Instagram, emphasizing that his friends and family would miss him.

"Today I joined the hundreds of thousands of families who have lost loved ones to opioid addiction," the singer tweeted. "My son Beckett, who was just 21, struggled to overcome his addiction and finally succumbed to it today."

Etheridge added: "He will be missed by those who loved him, his family and friends. My heart is broken. I am grateful for those who have reached out with condolences, and I Feel their love and sincere grief. We struggled with what else we could have done to save him, and in the end, we know he is out of the pain now."

During an interview with Page Six in 2022, Etheridge spoke on Beckett's demise, noting that he "made his choice," and she was taking no "shame" for it.

"We can all choose every day, whether it's love or fear, and my son made his choices, and I did the best I could as a mom, and I'm not going to take any guilt or shame," Etheridge told the news outlet at the premiere of her off-Broadway show, "My Window – A Journey Through Life."

Etheridge added that her Beckett "wouldn't want [her] to stop and ruin [her] life because of his choices." Besides obeying his wishes, she stated that "having a deep spiritual belief that we all make our own choices" was crucial to her decision to keep on living and following her career.