Opinions Are Strong On This Topic: Should Teenagers Have A Job?

I was recently sent a TikTok video where a mom talks about the reason she doesn't want her teenage son to get a job. As I listened to her points, I found myself fully agreeing with most of them. In fact, it wasn't that long ago that I told my son who just graduated from high school in June, that he shouldn't be stressed about finding a job until summer ends because it's literally his last childhood summer. My thought process was once he starts working, there's no going back.

As I read through the many comments on that TikTok video by Esther Boyd, I realized that there are clearly two sides to this debate and while I felt the way I did, I also agree with some of the other side's points. So, I decided to ask some friends what they thought for more clarity.

Before I fully dive into my thoughts, let me fill you in on what Boyd had to say that sparked the debate.

"I have a 15-year-old son and he’s at that age where like everyone’s getting jobs. And I was like, I don’t want you to get a job. And he was like, all my friends are getting jobs. I wanna get a job,” she started her video. “I was like, watch your friends’ lives, like watch and see what happens. And I’m like bro, you do that your entire f***ing life, why start now?”

She then explained that if he wants to get experience, he can do so by finding something he really wants to do, even if it's unpaid.

"I can fund your existence. We are middle class. He’s not getting literally everything handed to him on a platter, but I just think it’s insane to tell a small child who’s like 14 that they should go out in the world and get a job for experience, as if they’re not gonna experience that their whole f***ing life."

The comment section has nearly 10,000 people's thoughts and opinions on the topic and they are truly divided with both sides represented.

"Unpopular opinion but my parents did this and I’ve grateful they let me be a kid. Also never had an issue landing a job in adulthood," one person shared, while another took the other side of the debate saying, "Are you crazy!!! It is not about the money. You are missing the point."

After reading many of the comments left on Boyd's TikTok videos on the topic, I decided to see what my Facebook friends had to say about it.

I shared the story I wrote about the TikTok video and Boyd's parenting style and asked what their opinions are.

One of my friends said, "I never pushed for my daughter to get a job. 3/4 of our life becomes working. You only get freedoms for so long. That time u can’t get back! She works now, her choice, very part time."

Another friend agreed by saying, "I didn’t push my son to get a job until he had his GED for the same reasons."

And then there is the other side of the debate being represented.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I believe they need to learn responsibilities. It also keeps some kids out of trouble," one friend said.

Another added, "I had a job when I was 14. Also did babysitting. The extra money helped me to buy things my parents could not afford like Levi jeans and Nike sneakers. All my girls (except one who was taking several AP classes which helped her save a semester of college bills) had jobs in high school to help pay their car insurance and cell phone bills. I think kids need to learn how to make and manage their money. That is a life skill."

One of my friends shared her personal experience with her kids and the fact that she learned later in life that "work/life balance is important."

"My first daughter works at DQ at 14. She is 26 now and has her own business as a Wedding Planner and lives across the country. I have a 16 year old who plays soccer year round. She had two jobs for 2 months each and just does not have that in her YET! My 15 year old got a part time job a Chik FilA all on his own shortly after his 14th birthday. He saves his money and is responsible. I also have a 13 year old son who will do little jobs for me and I pay him. I worked when I was 12. I just turned 50 and my health has struggled for the past decade. Is it because I started working so young, probably not. I learned later in life that work/life balance is important!"

One friend, who's not a parent but had an opinion on the subject shared her thoughts as well.

"I would let my child make the decision to work or not. However, they would have to have C’s or better and the grades would have to remain or get better or no more job," she said. "I vote for let the kid work if they want and have them get a very part time job so they can learn how to work and earn money. Preparing them for the future isn’t a bad thing. When they get to college, I’d rather them study and use the money they made in HS so they don’t have to work."

While I feel there is no one answer fits all because parenting styles and kids are all different and shouldn't be treated as textbook cases, I can only speak on my own experiences with my kids.

I never pressed my teens to get a job, but if they wanted to, they could. My oldest son, 20, got a job right after he graduated high school. He stayed there about a year and then got a different job that fit his schedule and what he wanted to do with the rest of his life much better. He worked that job for the two years he was a college student, and once he graduated, he got a job in his field.

My middle son, 18, just graduated high school in June. I told him not to stress finding a full-time job until everyone goes back to school in the fall because this is literally his last childhood summer. He enjoyed his summer without worrying about working until two weeks ago when he got a job.

My youngest son, 17, worked this summer at our community pool. Because of the convenience in location and scheduling, he was able to do it without disrupting his second to last childhood summer and his basketball schedule. Was he forced to work? Nope.

I really want my kids to enjoy their childhoods the best they can because once it's gone, it's gone. Once you enter that workforce, you're in it for the long haul.

Like my friend, I also didn't learn about the important of having a work/life balance until more recently and I really want my kids to not have to stress about working hard until they have no choice. Does that mean I think they should be lazy and do nothing? Absolutely not. I love that Boyd suggested to her son to do something he enjoys even if it's unpaid. I think responsibility is important to teach at a young age, but why does it have to come with cost of working a job that likely doesn't pay well, is stressful and isn't something you plan to do with the rest of your life?

Now, if a teen really wants a job and it fits into the schedule without creating mass havoc on the household, then why not? But what I have found to be an issue is that the child quickly finds out that they hate the job and it's making them miserable and they quit. There's an important lesson in that as well. Quitting isn't something you want to go around doing a lot, so maybe avoid getting a job just to get a job if you know you're not going to enjoy it. I'm a big believer in taking care of your mental health first and foremost and kids nowadays are more anxious and depressed than ever before, so that needs to be a factor in the job decision too.

My bottom line is what I feel is right with my kids isn't what you may feel is right for your kids. I value everyone's opinions in this debate because it seems that most people, if not all, are coming from a place of experience and love. And our differences are what makes the world go round in an interesting and educational way.