Elliot Page Recalls Life-Changing First Time In Gay Bar In Excerpt Of 'Pageboy' Memoir

Elliot Page shares one of the crucial interactions that helped him embrace his new life as a transgender man.

The Hollywood sensation, formerly known as Ellen, became an icon of the LGBTQ+ community after announcing his identity as a male in 2020. Since coming out, the entertainer has actively raised awareness about transgender people using his inspirational story.

By June 6, the world will be able to read about the Canadian heartthrob's emotional transition journey in his highly-anticipated memoir, "Pageboy." Before the book's release, the TV personality dropped a key excerpt from his autobiography.

An exclusive snippet of the first chapter in the "Ark: The Animated Series" voice actor's memoir was recently shared with PEOPLE. The story detailed the Oscar nominee's love for a woman named Paula, who made the entertainer's first experience at a gay bar a transformative moment in his life.

Like a poet recalling the tale of a long-lost lover, the 36-year-old's story began with a dreamy tune: "I met Paula when I was twenty. Sitting on our friend's couch, eating raw almonds with her knees to her chest, she introduced herself, 'I'm Paula.'"

"The sound of her voice radiated warmth, a kindness. It wasn't so much that her eyes lit up but that they found you. I could feel her looking," the recount continued. "We went to Reflections. It was the first time I had been to a gay bar, and it would be my last for a long time. I was a miserable flirter."

At the time, the Halifax native was a rising Hollywood sensation, but confidently playing his role on TV did not automatically make Page smooth with words. The "Juno" star confessed he was flirting when he didn't mean to and not when he wanted to.

Despite his poor pick-up lines, the Gotham Award recipient noted that his time at the gay bar was a wonderful new experience. As someone who previously suffered from queer shame, being in such an environment and enjoying it was magical.

"Shame had been drilled into my bones since I was my tiniest self, and I struggled to rid my body of that old toxic and erosive marrow," the Canadian sensation explained. "But there was a joy in the room; it lifted me, forced a reaction in the jaw, an uncontrolled, steady smile."

"Dancing, sweat dripping down my back, down my chest. I watched Paula's hair twist and bounce as she moved effortlessly, chaotic but controlled, sensual, and strong. I would catch her looking at me, or was it the other way around? We wanted to be caught—deer in the headlights. Startled, but not breaking," the author added.

The air thickened with their chemistry, an irresistible charm that infused Page with the confidence he needed to shed his "repression at the door." Surrendering to the emotions building within his heart, the 36-year-old asked for permission to kiss Paula.

"And then I did. In a queer bar. In front of everyone around us. I was coming to understand what all those poems were about, what all the fuss was," the TV personality revealed, noting that the "antagonizing, cruel voice" that flooded his head whenever he felt desire was finally silent.

Raving about the kiss, the "Hard Candy" actor declared that this moment unveiled the path that led him from Ellen to Elliot. "Here I was on the precipice. I was getting closer to my desires, my dreams, me, without the unbearable weight of the self-disgust I'd carried for so long," the trans icon penned.

Days before the excerpt of "Pageboy" dropped, the "Tallulah" actor got emotional while holding the first copies of his memoir in a heartwarming unboxing video. While promoting the upcoming book on Instagram, the 36-year-old shared his reaction to the autobiography's physical body.

The clip, filmed inside Page's living room, captured the Gemini Award recipient seated on a couch as he prepared to open the large box by his feet. "Okay, I have the first box of 'Pageboy,' the physical book. Here we go," the Canadian heartthrob said as he opened the shipment to unveil his books.

Fighting back the tears, the "Inception" star's voice was filled with emotion upon seeing the first copies of his memoir. "Wow," he exclaimed, softly flipping through the pages and touching it as though to convince himself the book was not an illusion.

"Wow, it's real," the trans icon acknowledged with a nervous chuckle, still enraptured by the memoir in his hands. Finally satisfied, the entertainer faced the camera with unshed tears and offered the parting statement: "Can't wait for you to read it.