Paulina Porizkova Reflects On Grief After Losing Friend To Pancreatic Cancer

Model Paulina Porizkova is no stranger to grief.

On August 23, 1989, she married The Cars frontman Ric Ocasek. In May 2018, the “Anna” actress revealed that the former couple had gone their separate ways. A little over a year later, he passed away suddenly after undergoing surgery before the divorce was finalized.

Paulina found out after his death that she and the two sons they shared had been disinherited from his will shortly before his passing and their legal dispute with his estate did not end until 2021.

The author of “No Filter: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful” took to Instagram to share a throwback photo while sharing a candid message with her followers about the stages of grief.

In a candid Instagram post on grief, Paulina shared a throwback photo that she shot with Estée Lauder. "It’s been well over three years, and grief still strikes, sometimes in unexpected moments," she admitted in the caption.

"It’s not only that you mourn the disappearance of the person you loved. You also mourn the loss of a life you knew. The future you planned. And the person you were," she explained. "'Yes, you’re also grieving the loss of YOU."

"The YOU you knew has also been obliterated. The 'you' that shared a history with this person, the 'you' that shared a future. You can never have that 'you' back. This is what I struggle with now," she confessed, adding, "I have grown familiar with the absence of my loved one, even though reminders of him still makes me wince with pain."

"I have not yet quite grown into my new skin. Sometimes I feel like a shar-pei puppy, my skin is too big for me," Paulina confessed. "I long and miss the confines of the snug skin that fit me my whole life. And so I have to keep growing to fill this new shape."

"And growing, as you know, causes pain. This is all a part of grief," she explained. "Growing into the new you, that may be larger and stronger. But it takes time."

Paulina admitted that she was also mourning the loss of her friend Erik Wiener, who recently passed away from pancreatic cancer.

In another Instagram post, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model revealed that her friend Erik Wiener had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. "He set up this, the first Asbury Park Ted X talk, and persuaded me to be one of the speakers," she wrote in the caption. "This is the clip from it. 2018. He was a staunch supporter and believer in my abilities when there were very few others."

She went on to explain that they first met at her best friend's wedding, as he was the brother of her friend's husband. She said they "clicked immediately," adding, "Both Aries, we quickly found our mutual energy and enthusiasm bonding."

"I broke the heel of my high-heeled shoe during the rehearsal, and he accompanied me to find a cobbler to fix it. (His wife ok’d it!) There was literally no reason to do so, besides kindness," she wrote.

"And this was Erik. Unendingly kind. Generous to a fault," she added. "Big-hearted and enthusiastic to a fault. A fantastic cook. A great and devoted dad and husband. The best big brother."

"Evil f---ing pancreatic cancer took him away from all those who loved him yesterday.

My last text from a few days ago was the only one not to get a response," she continued. "It was 'love you.' But I think he knew that."

"My heart goes out to his family and friends," she concluded, adding, "Erik, I wish you could see the outpouring of love for you from all of us. Wherever you are, I hope you can feel it."

Many fans took the time to share their condolences. “Beautiful homage to your friend!" one fan commented. "I am sorry for your loss.”