Amber Heard Wanted Johnny Depp to Know ‘I Loved Him’ and Admitted ‘I Am Sorry’

Home / Exclusive / Amber Heard Wanted Johnny Depp to Know ‘I Loved Him’ and Admitted ‘I Am Sorry’

By Mike Walters on March 10, 2020 at 7:02 AM EDT


Amber Heard and Johnny Depp's legal war may come down to specific physical evidence in the case, which includes text messages sent by each of the stars to their talent agent. Among the many messages discussing the unfolding drama, Heard made it clear she wanted Depp to know 2 things: “I loved him. And that I am sorry.”

As we reported, many text messages are being entered as evidence into the ongoing defamation case between Depp and Heard, as they both had regular correspondence with their CAA talent agent, Christian Carino.

The messages date back to 2016, and were sent within the weeks after Heard accused her then-husband of hurling a phone at her face, which ultimately led to divorce papers and a restraining order being filed.

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Gettyimages | Stefania D'Alessandro

Heard was on a warpath against the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star at the time, however, messages sent to Carino appear to show a softer side of the actress who at an odd time wanted to let her estranged husband know she still cared for him.

”Christian – do you think he and I will ever speak again?” once message read from Heard, dated October 2, 2016. She followed up wanting to know, “Does he hate me?” and “I don't' see why or how we could just stop talking to each other...Or how are why we could both want to talk to each other, either."

Carino advised the “Aquaman” star to “leave it alone for a while,” but Heard was persistent that she couldn’t talk about the turmoil with many confidantes, and she really wanted to know what Depp was thinking at the time.

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Gettyimages | Jason Kempin

Months later, Carino and Heard exchanged messages again, this time shortly after she split with Elon Musk following the relationship going public.

"Dealing with break up," Heard wrote, adding “I hate when things go public …. C, I’m so sad”

Instead of consoling his client/friend, Carino brought up the fact that Musk was just a rebound after the volatile split with Depp.

"You weren't in love with him and you told me a thousand times you were just filling space,” he wrote.

Heard responded with, “I know,” but explained that “I wanted time to grieve and recover in my own time.”

She added, “I hate that yet again a man let's me fall on the spikes by myself...Meaning. They are mad at me for leaving them and put things like this out that."

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The CAA agent, who was famously engaged to Lady Gaga, offered some sage advice by telling Heard to stop dating “uber” famous people. Heard responded that he should take his own advice, adding that, “I wasn't ready for another relationship or breakup to be out there but yet it is..."

She followed up with a string of messages lamenting about the split with Depp:

"I'm devastated...I want to give up"

"Nothing has ever broken my heart more than losing JD...And it has always been that way"

"C, do you ever think we could ever speak again...I don't know how to ever survive."

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Gettyimages | Karwai Tang

Following up with her messages to Carino, Heard asked if she could pass a note to Depp that she had penned, and in a turn of events admitted that she wanted to apologize to the star.

I [have] written so many notes...Can you give him one? I don't know how or where to start There's no way to begin/ end all I have to say but I have so many. Finally, I am single. Clear in my heart and mind. I just want him to know I loved him. And that I am sorry,” Heard wrote.

Heard was also hesitant to reach out to Depp, as she did not want to make the move seem contrived:

Also. A little worried that if he gets it now it will seem like I'm doing so because of my break up with Elon."

It’s unclear if the note ever made its way to Depp but Heard was very much in her feelings as she continued to send Carino messages of woe about the relationship.

”God, I miss him,” a message from September 23, 2017 reads.

Another was sent by Heard to Depp on the “Pirate of the Caribbean” star’s birthday but unfortunately didn’t go through due to a technical error. She later explained:

”I text him happy birthday...Didn't go through. Probably for the best. But thought it was the right thing to do. Wanted to let you know."

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Gettyimages | Matt Roberts

As we reported, Johnny Depp confided in the same agent to discuss his relationship with Heard and the abuse allegations, making it crystal clear he did not intend to carry an "undeserved wife-beater charge," while deeming the abuse allegations a "flat-out lie."

The text messages may be front and center if both legal cases go to trial, including one defamation case against The Sun in the U.K., and the defamation case Depp filed against Heard in Virginia.

Each side feels the messages help their own case, as Heard believes some of the messages include admissions from Depp about domestic violence, while Depp believes his ex-wife’s texts don’t fit the bill for someone claiming to be a victim.

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Gettyimages | Michael Tran

Johnny Depp's attorney Adam Waldman, tells The Blast, "When Amber Heard claims months after obtaining the TRO against him that Johnny is the love of her life, it is scarily reminiscent of other witness testimony that Ms. Heard was screaming “I love you, don’t leave me” as Mr. Depp was carted off to the hospital during the afternoon she violently severed his finger in Australia."

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He continued, "Regarding Elon Musk, on whose Tesla board an owner of the Sun newspaper curiously sits, Ms. Heard laments that “yet again a man lets me fall on the spikes by myself,” by which she says she means Musk is “mad at her for leaving.” Alas, Ms. Heard told her agent that she was “just filling space” with Mr. Musk. We are investigating whether some of that space he filled may have been financial. Does Ms. Heard write about Mr. Depp as any real abuse victim would of their attacker? Any reader can judge it for themselves."

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