Cheryl Burke is speaking up about her early years and growing up in an abusive environment where love had a very different and negative definition. In a recent episode of the “Allison Interviews” podcast, Burke got candid about how childhood trauma affected the relationships in her life, revealing why she never truly understood the meaning of love.
Cheryl Burke Says Her Definition Of Love Was Unreal
As PEOPLE reported, Burke may not have had a blissful upbringing, but she is now aware that she has to reconcile with her past to work toward “a happier, healthier future.” She admitted to unconsciously falling into a pattern of being attracted to the same type of men who were “abusive, non-available, non-committal,” and unfaithful.
The former “DWTS” star has ultimately gotten to the point of liberation from her past behavior and presently comprehends the reason behind her affinity for such sort of men. She mainly attributed the patterns to having “no father figure” in her life and being sexually assaulted at a younger age by “an older retired mailman.”
Burke further explained, “My definition of love was not real. To me, love equaled infidelity, love equaled being treated like s**t, love equaled physical violence, love equaled mental abuse.” Such a mentality indeed influenced her that whenever she met a “nice man,” she would immediately flinch without understanding why she felt so disgusted.
Her perception was so because she never had such niceness growing up, but now, she endeavors to sever the link between kindness and weakness, acknowledging that she was a work in progress. And as for the “I Can Do That” star’s romantic relationships, she has been trying to make headway with intention since divorcing her ex-husband, Matthew Lawrence. She confessed, “If I don’t retrain my brain, I will be attracted to the same person. I will marry that person who resembles the person before, and it will just be a vicious cycle.”
While she makes those healthy changes in her life, she is actively not searching for any romantic affairs as she admitted that she had to love herself before loving someone else. Speaking of her biological father, who died in 2018, Burke regarded him as “very non-committal” but a successful Bay Area lawyer who followed his “passion” and established “a whole strip of strip clubs” in Thailand, similar to Vegas.
Despite their unhappy relationship, her mother insisted she continues visiting her dad at his clubs in Thailand. It was a challenging experience as her mum used to cry and be so emotional. Numerous inquiries about her father’s life outside her family have come up over the years, and many more appear sure to remain unanswered. Burke revealed that she had met brothers and sisters she never knew she had and may have more siblings.
Anticipating her future partners, she views her mother’s behavior with her stepdad as an example of what being in love actually means. She elaborated, “With my stepdad, I [would] see her just being. Being in love does not mean the roller coaster ride of emotions. It is actually when everything is…underneath the wave, underneath it all. That is true love.” The 38-year-old dancer added that she had had the “exciting, emotional roller coaster” in every one of her relationships, and it “clearly” did not last.
The “Dance Moms” Star And Former Husband Tried Couple’s Therapy Successfully
Burke is a regular supporter of therapy, and she reportedly forced her ex-spouse Lawrence to go to some sessions long before they got engaged. The Blast previously reported that she credited therapy for helping with the duo’s communication; however, that was enough to keep their union as they eventually split. The gorgeous model shed more light on the separation, saying that the couple had gotten to a point where they realized they had evolved, but not together.
Burke has no worries about being open to discussing going to therapy with Lawrence, as she previously talked about the same topic several months after their split. During an appearance on the “Tamron Hall” show, she mentioned that they were indeed in couples therapy but unfortunately grew apart in the long run.
The brilliant dance studio owner also opened up about her love for therapy and pointed out the misconceptions people had about the treatment always being associated with a problem. She believed it was very healthy to have another person who was not biased and could provide ways and tools for better communication.