Ukraine Advisor Igor Novikov Talks Strip Club Bomb Shelter 'So You Can Survive A Nuclear Strike & Get A Lap Dance'

The Blast interviewed Igor Novikov, former advisor to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, to hear his unique perspective on the current crisis in Ukraine. Novikov, who has a degree in law from the London School of Economics and Political Science, brings a unique set of technological, entrepreneurial, and policy perspectives to the dialogue of innovation in Eastern Europe.

In the third article in the series, Igor Novikov discussed the difficulties of finding loved ones who might be deceased or in hiding in bomb shelters underground.

When asked if there was a system in place to help people locate missing or deceased loved ones, Novikov explained that “we’re trying to set that system up now. Right now, there are a couple of hotlines but what makes it really difficult is the fact that most of the casualties are actually in disputed or Russia-controlled areas; therefore, our emergency services do not actually have access there.”

“I think, realistically, we’re looking at a week to a couple of weeks before that system is set up and put into place in a more organized fashion,” he continued. “I mean, rest assured that it’s going to be there because one of the things that we did really well before the war was digitizing our government.”

“We’re the first country in the world with fully digital passports so we don’t have passports anymore,” he added. “We have our smartphones. And we have digital vaccination certificates and digital banks… hardly anyone uses cash so we’re good on the digital front.”

“So the system will definitely be set up,” he added. “It will be very easy to use, very supportive of the people and the emotional experience through the ordeal but we need the hostilities to die down before we can implement something at an organized level.”

When asked about funerals, Novikov said that yes, funerals are still being held. “The simple answer is yes,” he said. “Look, life doesn’t stop and death doesn’t stop only because there’s a major war. I personally know a few people whose relatives who have died of natural causes and it’s obviously difficult.”

“In the worst case scenario, all one needs is to reach out to friends or to social media and they can get help,” he added. “The funeral homes are still open.”

“As far as our fallen heroes are concerned, it is imperative – and that’s one of the things that makes us really who we are – is that we show them respect to the maximum level,” he continued. “We recover bodies at any cost. We give them proper military funerals.”

He explained that when a soldier from a village is being driven through the village to the cemetery, the whole village will come out and take a knee to pay tribute to the fallen soldier.

“It’s really moving,” he said. “If we don’t respect our fallen heroes, we have nothing left to fight for.”

When asked about the availability and safety of bomb shelters, Novikov joked that “we have bomb shelters for any and every taste.”

He explained that Ukrainians still have their Soviet heritage, and they inherited concerns about the potential for nuclear war against the United States. “So we have plenty of those relic kinds of bomb shelters that have been opened and refurbished,” he explained.

Novikov revealed that plenty of private houses have cellars. His house does not have a cellar but he knows a local house down the street that does. “So we all communicate,” he said. “So if there’s a major threat, we can all run to them.”

“There is the subway system,” he added. “That’s become one massive bomb shelter so there is no shortage.”

He also explained that some of them have been converted into small businesses. “One is a strip club,” he added. “There was a story on the news that the strip club, which is in a bomb shelter, would open its doors to the general public if there’s a war, which tells me it’s open for business now. It’s dual-usage.”

“So you can survive a Russian nuclear strike and get a lap dance at the same time,” he quipped.

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