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Ariana Madix Opens Up About Suicidal Thoughts On 'Vanderpump Rules'

Gettyimages | Leon Bennett
By Lindsay Cronin

Ariana Madix opened up about her ongoing struggles with depression during Tuesday night's episode of Vanderpump Rules.

After telling co-star Lisa Vanderpump weeks ago that she was facing mental health challenges, Madix reunited with Vanderpump, who had been worried about her in the weeks since they spoke at SUR Restaurant, and right away, Vanderpump admitted to suffering from her own bout with depression after the sudden death of her brother, Mark Vanderpump, who committed suicide in 2018, just before Vanderpump and her co-stars began filming Vanderpump Rules season seven.

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Ariana Madix attends her 'Fancy AF Cocktails' book launch.
Gettyimages | Rodin Eckenroth

“Having been through such chronic depression myself — but mine was more circumstantial, you know because losing my brother — I didn’t do well at all,” Vanderpump told Madix, according to a recap shared by Hollywood Life on February 11.

“I was such a mess. I was trying to hold everything together, and I wasn’t doing a good job, and I started to have really dark thoughts because of my brother’s suicide," Vanderpump continued.

Sadly, just one year after Vanderpump's brother's suicide, Vanderpump tragically lost her mother, June Vanderpump.

Ariana Madix Admits To Having Suicidal Thoughts

Ariana Madix attends an event in a glittery dress.
Gettyimages | Tibrina Hobson

According to Madix, who has considered quitting Vanderpump Rules on a number of occasions, she never believed suicide would be something she'd ever think of until a moment during 2019.

"I remember driving my car on the freeway and thinking, ‘What if I just drove it off the edge? What if I just did that?’" Madix recalled.

"How is that a real thought? I don’t want to drag Tom [Sandoval] into my bulls*** … There’s an underlying feeling of despair — it happens more than not when I’m not busy,” she continued to Vanderpump.

Ariana Madix Thought Buying A House Would Eliminate Her Depression

Ariana Madix sits for na an interview.
Gettyimages | Jim Spellman

After Vanderpump assured Madix that her thoughts and struggles weren't “bulls***,” Madix revealed that she once believed that her mental health struggles would dissolve once she attained her goal of buying her first home.

In turn, she and Vanderpump decided Madix would likely feel better about her life if she had something to distract her from what she was feeling. So, rather than continue to sit home, Madix decided to go back to work for Vanderpump at SUR Restaurant on two to three days each week.

“Do all the things that will push you in a positive direction. That’s the best advice that I can give you,” Vanderpump said.

Ariana Madix Isn't Super Close With All Of Her 'Vanderpump Rules' Co-Stars

Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix attend the launch of 'Fancy AF Cocktails.'
Gettyimages | Rodin Eckenroth

Although Madix is close to a number of her Vanderpump Rules co-stars, including Scheana Marie and Kristen Doute, she was left out of a cast trip between other members of the show, including Lala Kent, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney, and Brittany Cartwright, earlier this year.

Madix also recently opened up about upcoming drama between her and Schroeder, who has already been seen feuding with her boyfriend, Tom Sandoval, on the show.

Vanderpump Rules season eight airs Tuesdays at 9 PM on Bravo.

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