Jessica Simpson is holding nothing back. The 39-year-old is opening up about her past romance with singer-songwriter John Mayer, in which she revealed that she turned to alcohol to cope with the anxiety that their relationship caused her.
Simpson first began dating Mayer back in 2006 when she divorced her first husband Nick Lachey. Their romance apparently moved fast and was a little too intense. “Where I felt insecure in the beginning was that I always felt I was falling short of the potential he was in me. I constantly worried that I wasn’t smart enough for him,” she wrote in her upcoming memoir, “Open Book.”
However, Simpson also mentioned that Mayer made her feel good at times. “The connection was so strong that he made me feel seductive, and he spoke about sex and my body in a way that made me feel powerful, at least physically,” Simpson says in the memoir.
But the constant need to be perfect in Mayer’s eyes was too much for Simpson. “He was so clever and treated conversation like a friendly competition that he had to win,” she writes of the 42-year-old guitarist. “When I tried to leap back in and say something to add to the dialogue he was having with himself, he would challenge what I said and I’d get quiet. I was so afraid of disappointing him that I couldn’t even text him without having someone check my grammar and spelling.”
The pressure to impress Mayer got to be so intense that Simpson resorted to constant drinking. “My anxiety would spike, and I would pour another drink,” she writes. “It was the start of me relying on alcohol to mask my nerves.”
In the memoir, Simpson speaks about not only her battle with alcohol but with pills as well and the substance abuse that almost ruined her life. She suggests that her relationship with Mayer was the start of her relying on a substance to calm her nerves.
Even though all of this makes Mayer sound like the bad guy, Simpson doesn’t particularly blame Mayer for her future substance abuse. She does admit however that it did spark something that led to a further downward spiral.
“He loved me in the way that he could and I loved that love for a very long time. Too long. And I went back and forth with it for a long time. But it did control me,” she writes in the memoir.
It sounds like their relationship began way too intensely and Simpson didn’t know exactly what she was getting into when she began dating Mayer. Sometimes, people just aren’t compatible and in this case, it appears that mentally they just weren’t a good match. This, unfortunately, was reflected in Simpson’s trouble with drugs and alcohol.
However, Simpson sought treatment for her substance abuse in late 2017 and is now sober. She is also married to Eric Thompson with whom she shares three children.