Along with cool weather and everything pumpkin-spiced, we now have another thing to celebrate this fall – the return of Lorde of the Rings!
New Zealand singing-songwriting sensation, Lorde, is back on Instagram with some more in-depth reviews of her beloved onion rings as she travels the world sampling the fried delicacies. This time, however, Lorde has also taken a crack at reviewing a controversial member of the onion ring family, Funyuns!
Summer of Circles
Although Lorde has been quiet when it comes to reviewing her beloved onion rings, she has been hard at work over the past few months and dropped an update for fans about her travels.
“Against all odds, it’s been a summer of onion rings. These were from the Phoenicia Diner in upstate New York, an establishment I highly recommend if you’re out those ways,” Lorde writes of one of her latest conquests.
“This ring threw me for an absolute loop (excuse the pun). For one thing, it was the biggest I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if the establishment is using only the rings cut from the point of greatest circumference, or what, but I could have worn one of these as a fascinator to a royal wedding. Never in this reviewer’s life has such a thick soft batter been encountered. Truly, it was half an inch thick all around, and this amazing orange colour.”
As for the final review, Lorde suggests, “If crispness is a priority, these may not be for you, but large, sweet rounds of white onion encased in a well-seasoned, chewy batter appealed. 4/5”
Westward Expansion
Lorde’s search for the perfect onion ring continued this year as she flew out to California for a basket of glory at famed L.A. gastropub, Barney’s Beanery.
“I’ve been here many times over the years but never knew they made rings. Referring to my notes, these consisted of ‘soft white onion, very thickly cut, and a super crunchy crumb batter. Onion maybe too soft? But incredible batter’. I’ll drink to that. 4/5.”
What About Funyons?
Lorde’s third post on Sunday morning – much to the delight of her fans for being active on social media – was her hottest take of all when the “Royals” singer dropped a review for the classic onion rings-like snack food, Funyons.
Knowing that her words may cause a firestorm, Lorde made sure to label alert her post as “Controversial.”
“It had been brought to my attention that there was a packaged food on the scene that could technically fall under this reviewer’s jurisdiction,” Lorde wrote to her followers as an explanation for reviewing the Frito-Lay snack chips.
She continued, “An onion ring by name, but where a ring of white, brown or red onion, crumbed or battered, crunchy or soft, should live, in its place a chip, a crunchy snack food in a foil bag. Reader, my beautiful brows shot up. When I spotted these in the wild, they had to be sampled. And honestly, while they didn’t hold a candle to the real thing, I wasn’t mad.”
Lorde admitted she was won over by the Funyuns, and relayed to fans, “I love knowing that the humble ring, a treat that’s flown under the radar for too long, has representation in the shelf stable snacking aisle. More life, more love, more rings for all.”
Although she awarded the yellow bag a 2.9/5, making Lorde’s ring of honor is a big win.
What’s Next to Review?
Fans of Lorde went crazy over her flurry of social media posts on Sunday morning, as the singer-songwriter is notoriously private and does not normally engage a ton on social media. While she’s in an onion ring review mode, followers were suggesting what she should take on next.
“Please review a bloomin onion I am so curious to hear your thoughts on it as it would also be a controversial post,” one fan of the Australian restaurant chain, Outback Stekahouse, suggested.
Whatever she reviews, Lorde will no doubt provide deliciously golden insight on her beloved rings.
